Window To My Soul

My father always said to me the eyes are windows to your soul,
A quite ironic quote for him, for one who's eyes so blue and cold.
I wondered when those tortured eyes would lay their story bare,
But as a child only blackness shone; dad's soul was not to share.

When I became a man and sat again with him one day,
All the love he hid from me he slowly let astray.
I saw how life had hurt him badly, and many scars the old man wore,
That is why he always vowed himself to show his love no more.

For love was sign of weakness, and of no worldly purpose,
He hid his passion deep within and would not let it surface.
"'twas good enough for my dad " he said, "it's good enough for me"!
Affection from my fathers heart and soul could not be given free.

But now today, I stare at me against the bathroom mirror,
I remember fondly my old dad and wished that he were nearer.
I wish for him to sternly gaze through MY eyes into
MY soul,
For I know that he would clearly see that gaping dad shaped hole.

I hope that when my daughters sit and look at me to stare,
That all they ever see within is love's bright wondrous glare.
I also hope that when I am asked "Do you love us daddy true?"
That I answer them as Jesus does and whisper I love you.

Written a year after the passing of my father, a man who knew little love in his life.