I'm fairly certain that my almost surreal finding of love has no future. Lately, I've found it hard to get a reply, never mind have a conversation with her. It's like she couldn't care less anymore and it absolutely sucks.
She said that she wanted me from the second we spoke, that she wanted to have all these things with me. She wanted to just be with me; sit and watch TV, cuddle all night and just share company. We had plans of becoming 'cinema buddies' and going all the time together. When I got a car, we would go on days out. She had in her head, planned out the foreseeable future for us and that made me excited and made me get my hopes up that this would actually happen.
But lately, thats all stopped. I don't know whats happened, whether I've done something wrong... But everything she ever told me that she wanted, is now looking like a well constructed lie to draw me in to where she wanted me and then just fuck with my feelings. To be honest, I'm gutted. She is beautiful, funny and just generally an awesome person to have around. Nobody as good as her has ever paid attention to me before and I don't want to lose her without getting to show her how happy I could make her. She could have everything she wanted and more.
I hope I haven't lost her. I'm not going to give up. I'll keep doing my best to try to make her see that there is nobody who could make her happier than I could.
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