Je Suis Dèsolèe

When I opened my eyes, I remember thinking 'has the daylight hurt my eyes as much as this before?'.

I licked my lips, my mouth was dry and rough as a badgers ass, the smell of vomit was strong, my throat was sore and my head felt like it had been squeezed to the size of a tennis ball. Looking at my reflection, it confirmed my fears....I had my first hangover. I was 15 and boy, it was a humdinger!!

I had a burst blood vessel in my left eye, from so much time visiting the porcelain altar. The previous night was one blurry, messy flashback.

I was on a french school trip, I was wearing my friends clothes, that were two sizes too big for me as I had puked all down mine, I was covered in scratches and the teachers were disgusted with me.

The previous afternoon all the lads had gone to the supermarket with their Adidas bags and filled them with the cheapest wine they could buy.

I don't remember how much I drank but it was ALOT for ickle moi...according to my friends I was the first to be drunk and was in a terrible state, so much so, that when the teachers came to check on us they would chuck me out the fire exit, which had brambles and the fire exit to the boys dorm.
Even in my intoxicated state, I crawled on my hands and knees to their dorm, where they plied me with more booze.

When I go to the breakfast hall I notice that one of the toilets is sealed off and then this french man and woman come out of this room and start ranting at me in french, for starters I don't understand and secondly, my head is killing me. I walk off confused.

Mrs Taylor is in tears sat at the breakfast table and begins to shout at me, telling me how I could have died, that I had ruined the trip for everyone, and that I should be ashamed of myself.

Honestly...if everyone would stop bloody shouting at me, maybe just maybe my head wouldn't hurt as much and then I could allow myself to be ashamed.

My friends are quiet also and I'm beginning to think maybe I had grown two heads as everyone was staring.
My close friend came in and sat down next to me. I ask her why everyone is pissed with me? To which she replies that I was in a bad way, kept throwing up, kept escaping from our dorm to go to the boys and that myself and her had broke the toilet. I figured it was just the flush we broke but oh no a flashback hit me like a spade...WHACK.....OH SHIT!

I remember my friend was sat on the toilet crying over her boyfriend, I go in to drunkenly console her and she sits me on her lap, within seconds the toilet cracks and actually collapses, water is EVERYWHERE!
I understand now why the mad french people were screaming at me!!

I never managed to eat a thing at breakfast, the trip back home was hell, a hangover being spent, hours on a coach and then a ferry, I definitely do not recommend. The only thing that got me through was flat lemonade.
My stomach took a week to get over that french drinking session and a few weeks for my red eye to go. I learnt a lesson that night and it wasn't french!

©Kim Brown 17th December 2012