1 November 2012
Life can be a rollercoaster.....well it was fine for a while but I'm not liking this ride any more.
Why do annoying and inconvenient or costly things keep happening to me?....have I been such a bad girl that this is my punishment?....if so....
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FATHER...FOR I HAVE SINNED
Yes it was my idea to tell my brother to pick up that stone, knowing it was dried up poo, when he was only 4.
Yes I did tell my brother to get the balloon out of the coal fire.
Yes I did laugh when my nan slipped on a drain and fell down in the local high street.
I'm going to stop there as on reflection, I really was a cow!
My point is, people can go through their daily lives, their days are boring and uneventful.....and then there's people like me......things ALWAYS happen to me......WHY?
I strive to be B&U (boring & uneventful) but shit happens...and yes I know it's not life threatening and there are peeps in the world with FAR more crap in their lives...but indulge me will you?...... in my feeling rather sorry for myself and just needing to put it out there....( a collection for 'The Feeling Sorry Herself' fund, to send me somewhere nice, would be gratefully received ).
ANYWAY.....I am a positive person, who smiles a lot, tries to be Miss Annoyingly So Positive all the time....but I got to tell you...when crappy things KEEP happening....it makes you sooooooooooooo CRAPPY.
I know I'm a busy mum and I usually relish that but lately I've been wishing the years away and looking forward to my pension, as I know the kids will all be grown up. I'll just have my trips to Specsavers, what brand of incontinence pads to buy and what shade of purple rinse to worry about then.
My 4 year old though adorable was always into EVERYTHING and it would seem in his absence, because he's now at school, he has handed his 'Little Git Crown' to his beautiful twin sisters.....I adore them but crikey they are HARD WORK personified.
I have been de-cluttering the house, painting, tidying up.....it's futile...my poisonous princesses are wreaking havoc behind me as I go.
I've had to paint 12 times...in various places...to go over where my girls have doodled...they have smeared 3 pots of Vaseline in a month, 4 pots of Sudocrem, broken 6 necklaces, ripped books, break up food all over the floor a trillion times, ripped up tea bags, emptied the sugar onto the floor...I could go on...but I don't want to induce you into a catatonic state....you get my drift though.
Then on top of my wonderful life as a momma...I've had two wardrobes fall apart on me. The car has had to go to the garage 3 times this past month and yet, again, I have no car today....the alternator went at 3.30pm yesterday....just as I had picked up the kids from school. Got up this morning and my very temperamental and frankly, possessed, fridge freezer has packed up. I'm having to put the food in a bag and store it in the garden. Last month I had to buy a new washing machine ( if this washing machine were a person, it would be Daniel Craig ), because the old washing machine was possessed too.....I have the carpet fitters coming back next week and the week after that.......do you think they would let me pay by showing one breast one week and showing the other breast, the following week.....maybe that's why God blessed me with my 38B's???.
PHEW......I'm exhausted just writing all that....
On the plus side, I have just been interrupted writing this by my mechanic friend, who has just brought back my car........
I am off for an evening spa treat tomorrow night...hell, I'm not just going to go for a few hours, I'm going to move my ass in.
I'm now awaiting a win on the lottery, failing that, the bank robbers Halloween outfit will come in handy.
If I were Princess Titanium, I'd be polishing my tits, ready for the carpet fitters forthcoming visits.
I wonder if, in my neck of the woods, there is much demand for a high class hooker??....I can't be done with being on the streets, I don't need the bloody flu on top of all my other problems.
Oh no hold me back...Miss Annoyingly Positive...wants her final say......
Just writing my crap down has indeed helped, my life maybe problematic, stressful, emotional, tiring, expensive but life is never dull and overall I'm very very lucky........SLAP SLAP SLAP!!
Miss Annoyingly Positive has left the room!!
©Kim Brown 1st November 2012
Oops I Did It Again...Possessions, Confessions And Frustrations • Opuss № I