2 August 2012
She was once a loving woman
Feisty and strong with opinion
Always been a bit too head strong
No man stuck around for too long
When they did she pushed them away
Never believed the true words they say
She really never had any self worth
It was there inside of her from birth
She had gone through life in a daze
Her mother always said "it's just a phase"
This 'phase' never truly went away
Her life changed, but the girl within stayed
Becoming a mother didn't really change her
Emotions within her began to stir
She just could never stay in one place
There were many sides to her sweet face
Even the house would always change
She'd redecorate or the furniture rearranged
Inside of her she always had this feral need
It would grab hold of her selfish greed
This was the side of her I began to hate
I'd runaway and show up and my nans gate
Then when I discovered I was with child
The inner you let go and went uncontrollably wild
You had all the wrong kinds hanging with you
Began taking drugs to just get through
That was over twenty years ago now
You are still with us, I don't know how
Your health has really took a turn for the worse
This is years of abuse and the drugs evil curse
So much you have put us all through
The rollercoaster of emotions over you
You put us all in danger and at risk
Over your dealing and wanting a hit
I despised you when you'd go to the loo
Trying to hide from me what you were about to do
I always knew from the smell and eyes like pins
Blood spattered on my wall, to name a few things
Yet still you would incessantly lie to my face
That when I wanted to just run from this place
Over time I moved away from you and your lies
Kept a distance as I watched you destroy more lives
Its only now that I can bear to have you near
For you've been clean for just over a year
It seems like an ocean of time, stands between us
And another ocean of lies and missing trust
I know things will never ever be the same
I can't love you and for that I feel shame
But you've missed out on so very very much
No matter how we try and fill in gaps, it's not enough
You had two paths over twenty years ago
The path you chose was a long and bitter blow
You chose your path and in time you got stuck
I hope it was worth it for a bastard shoot up!!!
Shoot Up! • Opuss № I