29 October 2012
It was to be the first time that Aunt Sally met The Wurzels. They had arranged to meet at WooWoo, the best cocktail bar in Bristol.
Aunt Sally walks in and scans the room, she sees a group of old guys waving at her. She ignores them but then they begin to shout.
The Wurzels: "Over ere lurve....over ere!"
Sitting down Aunt Sally asks "And who might you be?"
The Wurzels: "We be The Wurzels, you arranged to meet us my lurve"
Aunt Sally: "I beg your pardon?...I certainly did not...I arranged to meet Wurzel Gummidge NOT The Wurzels"
The Wurzels: "Now listen ere ya bugger...you...Aunt Sally, told us....The Wurzels, to meet you at WooWoo...ere in Bristol"
Aunt Sally: "I simply came here for a cup o' tea, an a' slice o' cake....apologies MY Wurzel always says that....I certainly did NOT arrange THIS meeting with YOU.....disgusting excuses for men"
The Wurzels: "Right you bugger, listen ere...I am a cider drinker...I drinks it all of the time...I am a cider drinker...it soothes all me troubles away...ooh arr ooh arr ay....ooh arr ooh arr ay"
Aunt Sally: "HOW VERY RUDE??....you are impossible...I am leaving...MY Wurzel, would NEVER speak to me like this"
The Wurzels: "Arrrr don't be like that my lurve...I gotta brand new combine harvester...an I'll give you the key...come on now, let's get together in perfect harmony"
Aunt Sally: "HOW DARE YOU!!!" ......Aunt Sally stomps off
The Wurzels sit sipping WooWoo cocktails and laughing at their success of scaring Aunt Sally away.
Just then, Wurzel Gummidge walks in with a big smile on his face.
Wurzel Gummidge: "Well done lads...that Aunt Sally always says she's gonna marry me and she always nicks me cakes!"
The Wurzels: "We should be the bloody scarecrow...it only took err five minutes to walk"
Raucous laughter erupts
Wurzel Gummidge: "Right I'm ready for that cup o tea, an a' slice o cake"
The Wurzels, after downing a few more WooWoo cocktails burst into song.
"Hi ho...fiddle iddle o....Chesterfield to Cheddar....Hi ho, the folks all know...he's a champion dung spreader!!
So til 2 am....The Wurzels and Wurzel Gummidge sing songs, get Woowooed...and eat ALOT of cake!!
Aunt Sally was found in Clifton, and is stuck in a high street store, having to model the latest blusher!!
©Kim Brown 29th October 2012
When Aunt Sally Met The Wurzels • Opuss № I