20 November 2012
A feeling has be weighing me down A feeling that I cannot shake You should be someone I want close Not someone I want to push away
You brought me into the world Made it difficult at times I distanced myself from addiction All your wrong doings and crimes
You have been trying so hard For that, I can only admire But your manipulative ways Restrict me, like invisible wire
The mistrust has been quiet Growing and spreading slow It's now made itself known Of you, I just want to let go
I've detached myself from dad And now find the same with you For your little lie here and there Makes me feel it's all I can do
You say one thing to me Like you are planting deceit To my brother you say different Your little game is nearly complete
You try to make me say things So you can twist it for gain Although your body's a wreck Your mind has remained the same
I walk on egg shells with you Don't feel like I'm being myself Constantly watching what I say For fear of the lies you may tell
My brother, bless him Stands by you with feelings so strong But I just can't bring myself to For it just feels so terribly wrong
Your interfering and lies Caused misery for many others You were part of the reason Four years, I lost my brother
You played games with us both I think you liked the game Pretending to care with concern Behind our backs you talked of blame
Even after all these years Without you anywhere near my life Allowing you back in again Is making me fearful of your strife
How can I let you in? When the trust has ran for the hills Every time I am with you An instantaneous dread fills
You are my mother The thorn in my side You are not a friend to me Or a person to who I can confide
The love and the trust Left many years ago I have to suppress my feelings Even though they hurt me so
I wish you were a door That I could forever lock I'd never need to open it again From behind it you may mock
©Kim Brown 20th November 2012
When The Trust Has Gone • Opuss № I