Addiction

I miss her. No I don't.

In the eyes of the sinner the white is God.
In the pale murky depths of my soul I see good intentions
I reach out, grab, scratch as the world flickers past me at a speed only a demon knows.

In the eyes of mine, she is beauty.
I surrender my bones to the grasp of her darkness
I invoke the stress, the drama, the intensity just to remind myself I'm alive.

If I fail now, I fail forever. I've made my choice.
I will watch it fizzle and burn into the fiery, deadly depths of dissolve
Till the mind creates it's own warpath, til the sky shatters it's tears all over my brain.

As I stare into my own psychotic gaze the blaze in my head won't let me lie.
She taunts me.
A myriad stream of light and dark, on a direct course of collision.

I miss her. No I don't.

In the eyes of the saint the white is devil.
In the glorious heat of my soul I see bad intentions.
I don't try to reach out, I lay back, I surrender.