misterbenn
Celebrity Big Bather. Episode 1. Johnny Vegas has a nice warm bath while listening to Chaka Demus and Pliers.
Two parrots are sitting on a perch, and one says 'can you smell fish?'
Gastric Rubber Of Brothers.
Number 16 : All my leg hairs are called Stephen Hughes.
Jennifer Lopez cannot spell the word 'genuine'. So it's lucky she has no use for it.
Jurassic Park 4 will be a 90 minute slow-mo shot of Hugh Hefner getting out of the bath.
Stonehenge is there but we don't know why. Like Danny Dyer.
Young lady loses her replica art gallery, then finds it again. How Stella Got Her Louvre Back.
Aries - today you will rely on a star formation to dictate your day.
My best mate just caught me groping his wife. The rest of her funeral is gonna be very awkward.
Got caught bullying a condiment. They charged me with aggravated a salt.
Simon Cowell's new show will find the best company to crush a piece of farm machinery. The Tractor Compacter Contractor Factor.
Which of the two pound signs below is hardest to find? £
Onion ring. Great snack. Terrible porn star name.
I Know What You Did Last Somerfield. eBaywatch
Let it Pea Smells Like Bean Spirit How Can We Be Lettuce If We Can't Be Friends?
My bum gas is created by Dan Brown. Not a lot of substance but what is there absolutely stinks.
I'm allergic to the letters e, o, i, a and u. I've got irritable vowel syndrome.
Just googled my name and got a live cam of me sat on the sofa in my pants.
Do not sleep anywhere near a camcorder.
I went to an MC Hammer exhibition today. It wasn't very good, I couldn't touch anything.
Apparently Autoglass don't like being called out to fix a scratched iPhone screen.
Bon Jovi's Autobiography. Excerpt One. Woke up needing a poo. Had a poo. Washed my two beautiful hands.
From the Holy Church of V. Ice. 3 steps for success : 1. Stop. 2. Collaborate. 3. Listen.
Gary Barlow has a pair of eyes where his testicles should be. Unable to make babies he can urinate through a keyhole from 26 feet.
Just got a loada pictures of small sea creatures with really hard centres. Accidentally googled 'hardcore prawn.'
Inspector Squirrel 2 : Where The Nuts At?
Jesus, though being a carpenter, now has very mixed feelings about decking.
OAP Diddy Granny Lennox Henry Wrinkler
Just judging my celebrity status on how many photographers are hiding in my privet. But there's just a cat having a big shit.
'Woah that looks like fun. Stop doing that.' - God.
Murdoch always carried eggs and milk. Because Hannibal loved it when a flan came together.
James Corden's toilet is piped straight to a specialist facility designed to dissolve weapons of mass destruction.
Just threw my dehumidifier in the bath. Sort that out ya cocky little bugger.
Just did a fart in the bath that sounded like Bing Crosby ordering a burger.
Never trust a wet door handle.
James Cameron makes over-priced blueberry cake. Avatart.
Lady Gaga's bath water has to be removed by 5 Swedish gravediggers.
Benicio Del Toro looks like Brad Pitt's reflection in the back of a spoon.
Heard Morgan Freeman pooing earlier. It sounded like an angry buffalo in a vat of custard.
Oprah Winfrey gaffer tapes bricks to puppies and kicks them in the river.
Steaks On A Plane.
Lionel Richie to record song depicting the intricacies of being vegetarian. "Halal, is it meat you're looking for?"
Stuart Lidl
"I don't care what Ziggy says Al, I am not going to fondle that old man" Quantum Leap Deleted Scene
"Uncle Albert, you know you're not allowed within 50 yards of a primary school." Only Fools and Horses Deleted Scene.
He took a dump in my garden today. I knew it was him because it had a shitty little twist at the end.
Adrien Brody's nasal hair is 14 feet long.