29 June 2012
Walking up to this old familiar place, Frozen time in my memory, and slow in my pace
I open the door and ascend the stairs, Feeling the weight of unwanted cares
He appears from his bedroom, but looks so different here, The anger lines missing, no teeth gritting, comes near
As we pass on the landing, my head bowed low, I feel so very sad now, never could let go
I ask him if I can be in his room, He says it is fine, but all I'm feeling is doom
He looks up at me, asks if I am alright, even holds my hand, now I'm sure things aren't right
Breaking down, I fall to my knees, Heart wrenching, tears fall with the greatest of ease
Feeling so wronged, this is all just a trick, My heart bursting with sadness, Stomach feels quite sick
I sob on the landing, this man holding my hand Want it to last forever, but this is not a real land
I look up to his face with tears streaming down, And I tell him quite plainly, in my sorrow, no frown
"You don't love me Daddy and I so needed you to" Don't get to see his reaction, everything's going cloud-blue
Waking up with a start, my mind reeling, crushed heart This of course was a dream from the very start
I lay in my bed and I realise now, The real tears start to fall, thinking of how
You never did tell me, you were angry and mean, All I wanted was your care, but it was never to be seen
So now you are gone, your soul I don't know where, I would love to tell you how much I cared
I cared about you not loving me, I cared that I felt so little and without family
I wish that I could put things right, But I'm no magician, try as I might
So shattered again, never will I forget. The hell I'm forced to live for many more years yet
How could you be such a cold and twisted man? I will not understand, don't think that I can
I could say I forgive you, but that isn't true You see, a father's love is all I wanted from you
You robbed me blind and left me out, never once asked me of how I felt
And now - now I will never know, 'cause you left this life and I wasn't
even
told.
All I wanted • Opuss № I