Gambling
They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction.My money's on Dave..
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14 words
mwathi
Hi my names Mwathi. I'm 10 and I'm from Birmingham. I like reading and telling jokes.
29
Stories
28
Followers
Stories by @mwathi (29)
Untitled
I was flicking through the TV channels on Saturday night, and I settled on BBC1 to watch the last 15 minutes of Casualty.
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71 words
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If you got touch please add me.
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7 words
Untitled
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.
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11 words
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I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night.He told me to bog off and buy my own..
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27 words
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I swapped my wife's parachute around with her backpack...Now when she goes on her stupid camping holiday, all she will have is a parachute..
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24 words
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I'm really worried about my Parrot.He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".My room-mate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying..
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24 words
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I don't believe in smacking my kids.I just send them to school in Justin Bieber t-shirts and let the other kids do it for me..
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25 words
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10 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of soldiers dead, state of the art technology, but the US finally found Bin Laden.In his house..
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23 words
Untitled
10 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of soldiers dead, state of the art technology, but the US finally found Bin Laden.In his house..
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23 words
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Disabled toilets.Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in..
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11 words
Cancer
My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really...She was attacked by a giant crab..
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20 words
Time
Time heals all wounds... and then kills you..
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8 words
Mood Ring
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
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51 words
Prayer
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me..
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35 words
Prayer
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me..
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35 words
Stabbed
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.Poor guy..
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10 words
Priceless
New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15Tub of Vaseline: £3XL Box of Tissues: £2The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless.
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23 words
Precise
I get really annoyed when people are so precise. 67.394715% of my friends also get annoyed when people do this..
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20 words
Limerick
There once was a man called Stan who's poetry just woudnt scan When asked why it was he said it's because I just can't seem to get the right amount of syllables in the last line.
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36 words
English, Scots And Irish Man
An English man, a Scots man and an Irish man were all on a plane together.
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132 words
Present
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present..
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21 words
Milk
I like my women how I like my milk, rich, white and 2% fat.
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14 words
Barack Obama
Barack Obama had to stand behind 2 inch bullet proof glass when he was giving his speech. that's a bit harsh, just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody..
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32 words
Be Yourself
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”.
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7 words
Don't Cry, Smile!!!
“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” ― Dr. Seuss.
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12 words
One Shot
A lovely afternoon, browned leaves being carried by the autumn breeze. the hazel sun half swallowed by the horizon, not a care in the world...suddenly a loud bang.
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119 words
KitKat
A man walked into a shop and asked "can I have a KitKat chunky" the women reached under the counter and gave the man a KitKat chunky the man said "no. I want a normal KitKat, fattie".
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37 words
Suicide
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide the librarian says she won't give it to him because he won't return it.
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27 words