Mumbai
My parents have gone to India with some friends. Mumbai. No, she's straight, but I don't think it's that kind of trip anyway..
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23 words
mystery
Bio unavailable
19
Stories
39
Followers
Stories by @mystery (19)
Work
I got to work from home today, Which was really bad because I'm a fireman..
22
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15 words
Opuss
One of the best made apps?.
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6 words
Marathon
The family of the runner who died in the London marathon have said, "She was an inspiration" She's certainly inspired me Not to run a fucking marathon..
12
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27 words
Untitled
I walked into the pub and the barman said, "Your wife looked quite ravishing last night. Now what can I get you Bob?" "Whatever you've been drinking, mate.".
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28 words
Tax
I know it's depressing when you look at your payslip and you see how much tax you are paying, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free.
24
1
41 words
Happy Days
Sunday, Monday, Happy Days Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days Thursday, Friday, Happy Days Saturday my wife gets back from her course..
40
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20 words
Untitled
They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends. I hope it's Michael - he's super cute..
42
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27 words
Galileo
I need help. My daughter is learning about Galileo, but all I know so far is that he was a small boy from a small family. Anyone?.
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27 words
Untitled
My cock was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once. But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out..
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24 words
Girl In A Bar
I couldn't take my eyes off this girl in the bar the other night. She had the most fantastic body I'd ever seen. It was only when she turned around though, that I saw how ugly her face was.
40
2
212 words
Night Out
Out with the lads from OCD anonymous tonight. Things aren't gonna get messy!.
14
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13 words
BBQ
I knocked on my neighbours door and said, "My son was just about to cut the grass but he can't seem to operate the lawnmower properly, could I borrow yours?" "Yeah, sure" he replied.
6
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53 words
Divers
Depth limit for recreational divers - 12 metres. Depth limit for experienced divers - 18 metres. Depth at which nitrogen bubbles develop in your blood - 30 metres.
6
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51 words
Senses
If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance..
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24 words
Einstein
Einstein developed a theory about space. It was about time too..
8
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11 words
Linguistic Relativity Theory
Do you think that the language we speak influences and determines what we are capable of thinking...?.
2
7
17 words
Untitled
Jeremy Kyle breaks society into four groups. Those on the stage, Those in the audience, Those at home watching, And those who can't watch it because they are at work..
8
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30 words
Untitled
There's three types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't..
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16 words