29 July 2012
Dear Diary,
My minions continue to be blithering idiots. Constant disregard for my instructions is infuriating! Poor diary, I know I do complain of these humans all too often - but what am I to do?!
I must sit on his lap, day after day, looking menacingly indifferent. I listen to all the plans, shape them to my will. Of course, my input is vital to the successful take over of the world. Without me, that human would be lost, yet he is the one who proclaims to be the super villain. Ha! It is I that teach him the ways of evil!
Why only today he was suffering a terrible cough - it sounded like "muk-ka-ka-ka-ka". Just dreadful, I took pity on the poor thing and showed him the most appropriate way to be rid of that troublesome hairball.
I believe location is key, the sheepskin rug in front of the fire, for example, or under the secret pedal that opens the trapdoor into the shark pool. Or, my favourite yet - on the leather desk chair. The more expensive, the better, it helps create a more - valued - experience, I find.
But I digress, the plans to obtain full control of the "big red button" are coming together. I spoke with Lord Mouseton before my afternoon nap, he has confirmed the humans are indeed unaware of our plans for the take over.
I must say it is a joy to work with the fellow, finally a minion that understands!
It almost makes me sorry I ate his children.
Sincerely, Master Fluffykins
Diary of an Evil Genius • Opuss № I