3 October 2012
Bud Abbott: I'm going to prove just how stupid you are so here's a question for you. You’re 40 years-old and you’re in love with this little girl that’s 10 years-old. You’re four times as old as that girl and you couldn’t marry her, could you?
Lou Costello: Not unless I come from the mountains.
Bud Abbott: All right- you’re 40 years-old, you’re four times as old as this girl, and you can’t marry her, so you wait five years. By that time the little girl’s 15 and you’re 45. You’re only three times as old as that little girl. So you wait 15 years and when the girl is 30, you’re at 60. You’re only twice as old as that little girl.
Lou Costello: She’s catching up.
Bud Abbott: Yes, yes. Now here’s the question. How long do you have to wait until you and that little girl are the same age?
Lou Costello: Now what kinda question is that? That’s ridiculous!
Bud Abbott: Ridiculous or not, answer the question.
Lou Costello: If I wait for that girl she’ll pass me up. She’ll wind up older than I am.
Bud Abbott: What are you talking about?
Lou Costello: She’ll have to wait for me!
Bud Abbott: Why should she wait for you?
Lou Costello: ...I was nice enough to wait for her!
Abbott & Costello • Opuss № I