8 September 2012
His name is Avery. He's the kind of boy who keeps to himself, who stays in the background. He's been around for a while: sixteen years. But he knows that he is still naïve about the world. He was naïve about love for a while. Then she came into his life. Riley. She loved him, she hated him. They fought constantly. And then she left. Avery was abandoned to pick up the pieces of his first heartbreak.
He walks into school two weeks later, not looking at anyone. Head down, eyes open, mouth closed. That's what his dad tells him. He knows Riley is around somewhere. He'll see her sooner or later. He just wishes it could be otherwise. He wants to be alone in his room, the way it is at weekends. He's the only child. He's always on his own.
Eventually, he sees her. Across the corridor, he catches her eye by accident. She glares at him, and he looks at the ground, hurrying away. His heart is thumping and his legs feel unsteady. He feels sick. But he still has three lessons to endure before he can leave. He walks into Chemistry five minutes late.
"Avery Andrews, what time do you call this?" Dr. Ford asks, tapping his watch. Avery mutters an apology and sits down at his place at the front. The lesson begins, and he loses interest quickly. He doesn't understand ionic bonding or large covalent structures. He has mock exams after Christmas. He knows he's going to fail them. He is bottom of the class as it is, getting D's and E's where the rest of the set get A and A*. He has decided he doesn't care. One more year and he can leave this exam factory and get out into the world.
Of course, he thinks, it depends how difficult things get.
He knows he could bring about the end of his life as easily as picking up a blade. Or a bottle of pills. Or a cord of some sort. He knows what he could do. He wants to. But he wonders if he could find the courage.
Scarred part 2 • Opuss № I