28 June 2012
One blue line, negative. Adam and both Let out the breath we had been unknowingly holding. 'maybe...maybe we should try another test.' Adam said almost pleading. I was too upset to speak, I knew I shouldn't have got my hopes up and felt bad about even having to consider if I was ready for this. Now I knew I was ready, that i had really wanted to be pregnant all along, but shock had turned me to doubt. 'Abby...' Adam shook me gently. I sat my eyes glazed over. 'Abby please... Listen to me,' he pleaded 'we can keep trying, it's not like you only get one try at this.' I collapsed into him and let him cradle me in his arms, he rocked me gently as if I was a baby, which only made me feel worse. I looked up at him, he had his eyes closed as if to hide from me the sadness in his eyes. We both sat curled up in each others arms until the sun had slid lower into the sky and the heat began to subside and was replaced by a cool breeze bringing with it the smell of the ocean. We only broke apart when Adams stomach let out a low growl of hunger, he smiled at me sheepishly. I took his hand and we walked silently to get some food. As I curled up to sleep that night with Adam hugging my back, I listened to the crickets chirping to one another and the peaceful sound of the palm tree leaves rustling against one another in the breeze. I thought about what Adam had said and realized that he was right, just because I wasn't pregnant yet didn't mean that I never would be, it only meant that it wasn't the right time and that when it was everything would fall into place perfectly.
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Love And War Chpt.45 • Opuss № I