29 June 2012
Adams face fell, he knelt down beside me he silently. He wrapped an arm around my waist and hauled me up so I was standing, then he wrapped me in a fierce hug, I buried my face in his chest, breathing in his scent, as the sobs that were racking through my body began to subside, Adam and I slowly walked back into the room, Adam supported me as if he felt I may collapse if he did not. The doctor smiled sympathetically as we walked back in. 'it's my mum,' I stuttered 'she...she...she wasn't able to have any more children after me, I don't know why.' I sighed and leaned into Adam. ' I will just give her a call and see if she can shed some light on this.' he walked out leaving us alone. 'Abby you don't know that is the reason...it might be me.' he said and I could tell he was trying desperately to make me feel better. 'it's not you Adam, you got Lucy pregnant...' I sighed sadly. He didn't respond. We sat silently for nearly half an hour waiting for the doctor. His face was grave, 'umm... I don't know how to say this to you... Well your mum couldn't conceive naturally.' 'what' I interjected, astonished. 'umm, your parents used IVF to have you.' he said sadly. I felt something inside me break, my parents had never told me this, I couldn't take it any more, so I nodded at him and walked out of the room quickly, as soon as I was clear of the room I ran, I didn't know where I was running to, but trusted my feet to take me where I needed to go. I ended up in the middle of a field covered in knee length daisies, my legs gave out beneath me at I collapsed in a heap on the floor. I cried and cried until I no longer had any tears left to cry out, I just sat in a crumpled broken heap, until I heard someone cry 'Abby...Abby please if you can hear me please say something... It's getting dark... You can't stay out here all night.' In the early dusk Adam couldn't see where I lay. 'I'm here' I croaked. Adam sighed when he saw me, he sat down next to me. 'Abby its not the end of the world, if you'd stayed you would have heard him say that there is a small chance that we can do it naturally, but if that doesn't work then IVF would be the best option.' 'Adam you don't understand... ' I sighed as I felt another sob rise up in my chest. 'I feel like I've let you down, the one thing in life that I should be able to do as a woman, I can't. If I can't have a baby, then what use am I to anybody.' I said sadly as I walked away.
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Love And War Chpt.47 • Opuss № I