22 February 2013
A fairytale for children under 12 (or maybe for those a little older!)
Part I
There once was a very stupid giant. I say 'once' because as everyone knows most giants are very clever, this coming about because of their giant-sized brain!
Although the giant was big and tall, which they usually are, he was very young. 75 years young to be precise, and as the lifespan of giants is usually 500 years, he was only a lad really.
His mum, who was also a giant, said to her 'little' boy: "son it's time you started school don't you think?" Immediately without thinking - as most stupid boys do - he retorted: "mom I'm not going to school and that's the end of it, so stop it now, and give my head a holiday!" He was a very naughty boy to answer his mother in such a rude way. But nobody seemed to care in this home anyway. And he continued in a haughty way: "Besides, why should I have to go to school?" "Because you're stupid son," came her quick and clever reply.
Immediately he went over to his mother and threw his great arms around her, and gave her a giant hug, as only a giant can. He said: "Mum I love you, because not only are you my mummy, but you always tell me the truth. You tell it as it is. You call an axe an axe." And with that, one gigantic tear rolled down each of his cheeks. They rolled onto the floor and out the door towards the river which ran nearby. They didn't enter the river but hid in the river bank, because they were tears of joy, and didn't wish to mix with the tears of sorrow which flowed quite often in bucketfuls down the river.
His mother didn't care for her son's hugs, which was very strange don't you think, as all mothers like to get hugs from their sons and daughters. But the Giant mummy was afraid of his hugs, because he hugged her so tightly that it left her breathless for six months afterwards.
And then he said to his mum in a terribly rude manner: "Now mummy, go and do what you do best, and make me a nice barrel of tea, and stop yapping on about school before you do my head in!"
The 'Stupid' Giant (Who Didn't Want To Go To School) • Opuss № I