12 March 2013
'Japan is nuts,' says the American man. 'Crammed and busy and stiff. Their cars drive on the wrong side of the road, And they write in hieroglyphs!
Granted, they make some great cartoons, But the characters- oh woe! Hair of purple, pink, and green, Some as white as snow!
They really are immodest, too, Anime women of unnatural *cough* size, Revealing moments- almost R Not fit for child's eyes
These Japanese, they eat odd food. Octopus, seaweed, endless rice. They enjoy their fish served raw... I'm sure I've gotten food poisoning- twice!
Not a fork or spoon in sight, Chopsticks only- what a chore! I give up early, eating little, While my stomach growls for more.
No, Japan is not for me, I think I'll fly back home quite soon. I already have a seat on a flight, Leaving today at noon.'
The Japanese man he was talking to, Who happened to speak English, Placed a finger to his chin And offered the American man this-
'Yes, my country may be crammed, But is yours not as well? Same thing goes for business, As anyone can tell.
We may seem quite stiff to you, But here it is polite. Driving left seems wrong to you, But here it is quite right!
Those 'hieroglyphs' are kanji, sir, Mixed right in with kana. Please respect our language, sir, Stop and smell the hana.
What are hana, sir, you ask? Why, it's our word for flower. Please refrain from questions, sir, You leave in just an hour.
Anime hair is a style, sir, Specific to Japan. Do Americans not dye their hair, too? I suppose you're not a fan?
Our values are not much like yours, sir. That's all that I can say. While you may keep things off TV, We see them every day.
The food is just a way of life, And once you truly taste it, You will agree it is delicious. This is opportunity- don't waste it.
The chopsticks are a tricky business, Difficult to master. I suggest you spear your food, So you can eat it faster.
So sir, I'll let you head back home. I'm sure your family waits. But please, come back again someday, After you leave the airplane gates.'
The American man was quiet, And he left with a quiet nod. But in three years he was back again, And he didn't think it quite so odd.
Culture • Opuss № I