pixelmonkey

There was a woman from the Azores, Those fanny was covered in sores, Even the dogs in the street, Wouldn't eat the green meat, That hung in festoons from her draws.

The Azores • Opuss № I

I had to go to the city to install and build a flat pack metal filing cabinet for MI5 - that went well. I then bumped into Adam Who had an appointment so could only chat briefly. Adam was following the latest craze and had thin wire inserte…

The Latest Craze • Opuss № I

Was chased around a big Haunted house made entirely of cardboard by a pack of white wolves who ran upright on two legs. When they caught us they spoke with American accents, we explained we were looking for our spaceship and just wanted to …

The Cardboard House • Opuss № I

Hunting for burger buns (baps ) around the Brazilian coastline in a low flying aircraft with a big net - when a batch was spotted growing in the water on a type of 'bun bush', I swooped the plane down low to make a dangerous pick up manoeuv…

The Bun Harvest • Opuss № I

Children in the front seats cause accidents, Accidents in the back seats cause children.

Caution • Opuss № I

It started in a pub - i had 3 pints with a couple of old mates. Then my dad turned up in his car to tell me he couldn't give me a lift because of the traffic. I went outside and saw loads of police, one spoke to me and said traffic was bad …

Weird Dream... • Opuss № I

There was a young girl from Belgravia Who painted her ass like a Dahlia, The colour was fine, The design was Devine, But the smell was rather a failure.

The Flower Girl • Opuss № I

The elephant is a pretty bird, It swings from bough to bough, It makes it's nest in a rhubarb tree, And whistles like a cow.

The Elephant • Opuss № I