29 July 2012
Dear Diary,
My younger twin siblings, Super-Boy and Super-Girl are being very annoying. They keep taking my E-power electric toothbrush. And hiding it.In Mum and Dad's bedroom. What with Mum being Wonder Woman and Dad being Super-Man, how do you expect me to get into their room? SG and SB are only allowed in because Mum and Dad don't mind them going in there, no its only me they don't let in. And just because I'm a Super Villain for goodness sake! I zap lightning at my sister, and electrocute my brother, but they just giggle. They fly away over my head, and leave me crackling with static fury. I go into their bedroom (obliterating all the pathetic traps) and take Super-Dog and Super-Cat. I feel so sorry for them. My sister has dyed Super-Cat pink and put a mask on her. My brother has put a red cape and a collar saying 'Super Dog' on it. I quickly take off the cape and the mask, much to the pets relief, and put them in my secret hide-out. I think I'll give them new names when I get back. I sneak back into my sibling's room, and then remember something. The cameras! My sister put up cameras to see anyone coming in. I look down. Nothing there. Luckily I went into automatic invisibility mode. Few. Panic over. Not that I was panicking, of course. I open and rummage through Super-Boy's draws. They are stuffed to the brim full of Transformer Snacks, Super-Bars, Energy Drinks and Marvel Comics. Nothing worth taking here. Or, is that something sparkly I see in the corner of my eye. I am like a magpie, attracted to shiny things. It's a, no it can't be, but it is...the Diamond Stick! It does anything, shrinks things, enlarges things, exterminate things, and passes powers from person to person. I grasp it, and suddenly I can fly! My brother has been charging this up. I look in my sister's draw, and it is stuffed full of all things pink, but after a while I find her Diamond Stick. The sticks are only about an inch in length, but when connected amount to so much power it would blow the world's socks off. I take both the sticks, and go back to my lair. I remember the pets.
"I name you Electra and Zap" I say.
I put Electra the cat into a bath and wash her thoroughly. She doesn't like this, but by the time I'm finished she is purring with gratitude. Not. And that's why I like cats. Sarcastic and sly just like me. She is actually a pale grey colour. Zap runs off, and Electra curls up on my plush velvet sofa. I go upstairs just in time to meet my brother and sister, coming back from the Super-Market. They've also got my toothbrush. We have a small battle, destroy a one or two cities, but they're still not fazed. Well, if this doesn't work I'll have to use the human method of torture. I use Super-Girl's power of moving things with your eyes by touching her Diamond Stick. I grab my toothbrush and they stare at me. "The next person to steal anything of mine will get stabbed with this toothbrush"
They gulp.
"With the brush head on?" Asks Super-Boy hopefully.
"No."
"With the power on?" Asks Super-Girl nervously.
"Yes"
They scream and run down the corridor, me chasing them waving my electric toothbrush, on, threateningly. Guess I'm just your average teenage super villain.
Just Your Average Super-Villain • Opuss № I