28 July 2012
'Lily? What the hell is up with you?' groaned Jody in the morning. Suffice to say she really wasn't a morning person. Also suffice to say, I had not had a wink of sleep that night. And I was still as alert and energetic as if I'd been slurping muggle energy drinks all night.
I just bounced excitedly on my bed and wriggled my legs happily. James Freakin' Potter. I guess I was still speechless.
'I think she's gone mad.' suggested Trish. I stuck my tongue out at her. Wow, I really felt like a child on Christmas morning.
I sighed and said, 'I'm hungry. Are you hungry? I love breakfast. Come on let's get some food.' I grabbed Melissa by the hand and practically ran down to the common room and downstairs to the great hall.
'Lily you're still in your pyjamas. Since when do you eat before getting dressed?'
'Who needs an excuse? Why not?'
Yes I was well aware that I was acting way out of character. And also, despite my earlier eagerness to eat breakfast, I found my appetite was unusually small. I merely ate half a piece of toast then sat back, waiting for my friends to finish theirs.
'Right Lily, what's up? You are acting really weird? So spill.' uh oh, Melissa was doing her 'I won't let you go until I have all everything I want' face.
Strange. Further down the table I could hear practically the same conversation happening.
'I got a date.' I said at the same time as James.
'With whom?' Wow, Melissa must really want to know if she was using correct grammar.
I grinned sheepishly, 'James Potter.' I heard James answer with Lily Evans.
The volume in the great hall seemed to drop noticeably with my friends' and The Marauders' shock.
'What? You finally said yes?'
I raised my eyebrow.
'No. I asked him out.'
If it was possible my friends' jaws dropped even further.
'Shut your mouths, you'll catch flies.'
I looked up and saw Black leaning against the table looking amused.
'So, Mrs Potter-'
'Shut up, Black.'
'Why the change of heart? Why decide to see sense after all these years?'
'Because he finally decided to stop being a complete idiot. And you were the one trying to persuade him to see sense all these years.'
Black put on a mock shocked face.
'He's decided to stop being an idiot? I'll have to talk to him about that. That's unacceptable that is.'
I hit him on the arm.
'Get lost, you prick.'
He laughed and went back over to his friends, I followed him with my eyes and James caught my gaze. He gave me the most beautiful grin ever which made me blush so I returned his smile before ducking my head away.
By this point most of the hall was buzzing and looking over at us.
I felt my face heat even more and decided to drag Melissa back to the common room with me; away from all the attention.
'No kidding? James Potter? Really?'
'Yes really.' I grinned.
'Wow. I mean I knew you liked him but I didn't think you'd ever realise it. So why did you ask him out?'
I glared at her. I resented the implication that I didn't understand my own feelings.
'I asked him out because I wanted to go out with him. What other reason is there?'
We sat down together by the fire.
'I know that but why didn't you wait for him to ask you out again?'
I sighed and leaned back.
'I can't stand the girls who know that the guy they like likes them back and they do nothing. Just because they think the guy should make the first move. And besides that, why should I wait? I've noticed he'd stopped asking so often.'
Melissa looked surprised.
'Wow. You sing it sister.'
I laughed. Rant over.
'Anyway, normal Lily's back and we need to get ready for lessons. We are running late.'
'Yes Miss.' teased Melissa.
I was freaking out as we were walking to potions. Yes potions. As in the lesson I was partnered with James for. I wasn't complaining but what the hell was I supposed to do? Were we dating? As in boyfriend and girlfriend? Was I supposed to act like we were dating or not? I mean I wasn't going to be all frosty like before but still...
Well I did kiss him on the cheek the night before so I kind of started it there but...
Soooooooo stressful. I guessed I'd just let James decide.
If course I didn't say any of this aloud but the smirk on Melissa's face told me she knew what was going on in my head despite my silence.
Maybe because of my silence.
Oh God, was already babbling in my head. I hated to think what would happen once I opened my mouth.
I sat down in my seat next to James who was already there.
'Hey there Evans. Late to lessons? Honestly I'm shocked.'
I flicked my hair out of my eyes and turned to face him.
'You better watch it Potter. If you're not nice I could ditch you. And I do have a first name James.'
He tipped his head back and laughed.
'I know you have a first name Lily, and I am being nice.'
He was so fit. I couldn't believe I never went out with him before. He was still an idiot though.
'Yeah right, retard.' I shoved him with my shoulder.
'Who's not being nice now?' he pouted and did puppy dog eyes. The look didn't work for him.
Then I noticed there wasn't much noise in our full classroom and even Professor Slughorn was hadn't started the lesson. One that should have started 10 minutes ago.
Oh, and everyone's states were directed our way.
So if everyone didn't already know, they would by the end of the day.
James had probably already noticed and was not fazed in the slightest about their attention. Well he was used to it.
I, on the other hand, was doing my absolute best not to blush (failing) and I gave an awkward cough that seemed to snap everyone out of done sort of trance.
Everyone came alive again and the noise level became healthy.
James ruffled my hair and pinched my cheek,
'Awwww, is ickle Lilykins embawassed? Is ickle Lilypoos bwushing?'
I hit him on the arm.
'Shut up.' I said, but I couldn't help grinning.
Professor Slughorn announced that today we'd be starting to make polyjuice potion. It was an extremely complex potion that took a lot of time and skill to brew. I saw James and Sirius grin at each other. Knowing them they'd already made it multiple times for various pranks.
We first had to write down all we knew about the potion and it's effects and history and drawbacks etc. It was weird because Slughorn was normally a very hands on (not in that way) teacher and he rarely set us homework.
I scribbled my final full stop after two and a half double sided and scrolls of parchment and sat back.
I caught some movement in my peripheral vision and turn to see Sirius quickly stuff his hands under his desk and looking amused and very, very guilty. I also saw James changing his irritated, forceful glare but also quite amused expression to a casual, 'head in the clouds' look.
Even if I hadn't seen them trying to hide what they'd been doing, James's expression would have given them away. He never looked dreamy (in that way). He was always plotting, joking or flirting.
I looked at both of them but settled my accusing state on Black as he seemed to be the main suspect.
'What?' I said suspiciously.
'What? Us? Nothing.' squeaked Sirius, I had a feeling he was being utterly unconvincing on purpose.
James grabbed my hand and steered me towards the ingredients cupboards.
'Ignore him. He's an idiot.'
I raised my eyebrow at him at the same time as Sirius called,
'Says you?'
I laughed softly at their insults. I thought it was quite cute, endearing.
'So' I said, trying to restart conversation but not quite sure how to.'
'You've made Polyjuice potion before?'
'Yeah, it's one of the few potions I can make. Although we did have Remus with us at the time... Actually I don't think any of us actually did anything but get some hair and put it in.'
'Yeah. Not the best at potions are you? The task was almost painful to watch.'
'None of the others were any better.'
'That's because you're all arrogant meatheads who think magical knowledge and strength is all about slaying dragons and jinxing stuff.'
'Ooooh Smarts.'
At that moment Severus barged past us to get ingredients. He completely ignored me which reminded me...
At the end of the lesson he pulled me aside into an alcove.
'Are you mad? Potter?'
'Oh Sev you know it's not-' not what? I didn't know. It certainly was exactly as it seemed.
'Potter? Lily, after all this time?'
'Sev, I didn't-'
'You didn't what Lily? You didn't say yes? You didn't betray me? All these years, the whole school, smitten with Perfect Potter. But we knew. We saw him for what he was. What he is.'
Tears were prickling at my eyes now and I saw Severus battling with his too. I'd hurt Severus.
'How could you do this to me? After all this time? HOW?'
It sounded like the words were being ripped from within him. Each sentence, tearing away his soul.
My best friend.
'I'm sorry, Severus. I truly am. You don't know-'
'No Lily. You don't know.' his voice was cold, devoid of emotion.
'You never have and you never will.'
I barely knew what he was saying.
I angrily swiped my nose with my hand.
'I love you Sev. You're like my brother. I- When Tuney left me, you were there. Always. What happens Sev? What happened to always?'
I was a wreck. My sobs made my words almost indecipherable.
But Sev understood. He always understood.
'Always' he laughed bitterly, 'Potter happened to always.'
He turned and walked away. Leaving a raw, bleeding whole in my life where he'd once been.
Tears obscured my vision and my legs couldn't carry the weight of my hurt. My legs buckled and gave way right there in the empty corridor.
I didn't even care anymore.
10. *cough* Fanfic *cough* • Opuss № I