14 August 2012
No.
The Dark Mark.
Above my house.
No.
Not possible.
That meant my parents and Tuney were-
Not dead, cried a desperate voice inside of me.
But what was I supposed to do? I knew I wasn't meant to go in and I was suppose to contact the ministry.
But how?
I suppose I could sent a patronus but I was too distraught for that.
Suddenly I was at Spinners End. I don't remember going there. I must have been on autopilot. But surely Sev would help? Even if he was a- a deatheater himself now. Surely he didn't hate me enough not to help.
Sev appeared at the door, his face cold and unimpressed, but then he saw me, my eyes red and puffy and wet with tears.
'Sev please...' he knew I was asking for forgiveness. Pleading.
He looked pained but also hurt flashed in his eyes. I knew my betrayal couldn't be forgiven.
'No.' All hope left me then.
'But what's wrong?'
'The dar-rkm-mark.' I stammered hysterically.
He looked instantly alarmed.
'Above your house? Your parents are...?' he trailed off, unable to finish that impossible sentence.
'How do I contact the M-ministry?'
'I'll send a patronus.' he said.
Sev always understood me. Always. He knew exactly what to do almost all the time. I missed him like hell.
'Sev, I'm s-so s-sorry. I didn't- I was stupid. And I can't believe I did it but I'm not going out with him. I can't believe I did that to you. I- Don't forgive me, I don't deserve it but I miss you Sev. I miss you so much it hurts.' I was left panting for breath after that. I don't know why I did it then. Because if he'd shunned me then I would have collapsed. Lost the will to live because I'd lost too many people that day already.
So quietly it was almost just exhaling he breathed, 'I miss you too Lily.'
In any other circumstances I would have hugged him, cried with joy.
But I didn't.
He pulled me awkwardly into a hug and I sobbed brokenly on his shoulder.
Then he pulled away, looked weirdly embarrassedly at me and walked into the next room to cast his patronus.
When he came back I asked him why. He didn't really answer.
I supposed he was within his rights to not tell me everything seeing as what I did to him.
Moments later we heard the telltale cracks of aurours apparating at my house. I literally ran full pelt to, well I don't know what.
I certainly didn't want to know the inevitable. That my family was dead.
I grabbed Sev's hand. I didn't care that we'd only just almost made up. I didn't care that it probably made him uncomfortable. I just needed to hold his hand. Because somehow it would hold me up when they told me.
I saw them. The bodies. My parents' bodies. Their dead bodies.
I knew Sev's hand probably felt as though it was about to break, I was gripping it so tightly.
I didn't feel like me though. I was crying my eyes out but I felt detached, numb. This wasn't real. There was no way it could be real.
I waited for them to come out again with Tuney. But they didn't.
What?
Suddenly a Ministry witch appeared before me.
'Miss Evans. I'm afraid you'll need to come to the Ministry. We need to discuss your and your sister's loss and decide what will happen in regards to Guardians etcetera.'
I could see that even this professional witch felt bad for me. Then something registered.
'Wait. Tuney is... Alive?'
'Petunia? Yes she was with her friends and out of the house when it, erm, happened.'
Somehow this didn't make me feel any better. It didn't change that I'd lost my parents. And Tuney would probably find someway of blaming it on me.
'Excuse me young man,'she said, addressing Sev,'but would you mind waiting here? I need to take Miss Evans only.' her voice sounded kind. Not at all what I would have expected of a highly professional Ministry witch.
She took my hand and I reluctantly let go of Sev.
I felt the uncomfortable, my-body-is-about-to-implode sensation of apparition and we were a busy foyer type place.
'Sorry about the people. We can't apparate straight into my office.' she apologised.
People shot me curious looks but not as many as I'd expected. I realised that this must happen more than I'd thought: crying, parentless 17 year olds having to discuss what happens next.
I'd never thought all that deeply about the war before. It didn't seem to exist within the walls of hogwarts. The deatheater kids had always been some slytherin idiots who hated muggleborns and Dumbledore. Now they were kids who may actually be in the service of he-who-must-not-be-named, kids who could very well turn out to be, or already be, murderers.
The war was real. The war, no the deatheaters, you-know-who, had taken my parents. And no way were they getting away with it. Through my tears I knew my eyes lit up.
I was going to fight back. And fight back hard.
Vengeance. My grief could be handled as long as I had this purpose to fulfil.
'This way please Miss Evans.' the voice of the Ministry witch brought me back to present.
I followed her over to get a badge with my name on it and my reason for being there. I didn't look at it, I didn't want to see what cold or grotesque name they had given to my situation.
Then we walked into a lift filled with other Ministry employees. Some nodded and greeted the witch I was with as Sarah.
After a long walk through lots of little corridors and turnoffs we arrived at her office.
'Take a seat while we wait for your sister.'
I sat, hunched over in a swivel chair, tears of grief and anger streaming down my face.
I heard the door open and click shut.
'What's going on?' snapped Petunia shrilly.
She didn't know.
How could she not know?
Somehow I expected her to have felt it. How could you not know that your parents were gone? After all they are two warm spots in your heart. How could you not notice when their light is extinguished?
And I didn't want to tell her. Didn't want to be there to witness her initial shock and anger. I didn't want to witness the first wave of despair. I'd already felt it for myself and it was enough for one day. One lifetime even.
'Miss Evans. Please sit.'
Tuney wheeled the chair away from me a little before sitting down. She looked at my teary face with smugness. After all, anything that made me unhappy couldn't be bad could it?
'Miss Evans, your sister already knows your situation as she found it and informed the Ministry in the first place. I assume you've heard of Lord Voldemort?'
Wow, Sarah- I peered at the name plate on her desk, Sarah Philipps has guts, using his name like that.
'Yes' replied Tuney warily. I'd told my family about him last summer. I didn't think they'd need to know but it was a precaution.
'Well then you presumably know what he does?'
'What are you talking about?' she was starting to panic now.
'He's a murderer. He doesn't like non-magical people like yourself and discriminates against those who ate born of them. Like your sister.'
Petunia looked genuinely frightened now.
'Tuney,' she looked at me disparagingly,'Mum and Dad are- You-know-who's followers, they-'
'No.'she stood up, 'NO.' she shouted.
'I don't believe you. You're all sick weirdos and you don't- this is just a sick joke with you and you're- NO.'
But she was crying now. She believed it. I told her. I wouldn't joke about that.
'Miss Evans, I know this sound cold but we understand you've suffered a great loss but we have official business to sort out that is imperative to your futures. We only ask that you co-operate.'
We both nodded mutely. I knew Petunia hated everything from the witch in front of her to the chairs we sat on but she was lost. And only the Ministry was offering to help her find her way.
'Now Lily,' this was the first time she'd used my name, probably because calling us both Miss Evans would be confusing, 'You are 17 and already of legal age, therefore you don't need a guardian. Petunia, however, you are 16, two years younger than the muggle age of adulthood. You will therefore need a guardian for two years. That having been said, it is unlikely that two muggles who have a magical daughter would be attacked coincidently. Although it might just be because you're muggleborn, Lily, it's very possible He wants something off you. Therefore we we are offering Ministry protection. At the very least we suggest you get adopted into a wizarding family for protection. You too Petunia, He may go after you as well.'
My heart twisted. It was my fault. Petunia would have found a way to blame me anyway, I really didn't need her to have the truth on her side, especially since I was beating myself up about it enough already.
Sure enough, Tuney had turned her hate-filled glare upon me.
I felt as if some sort of metal was blocking my throat.
'No thank you. I don't want anything to do with your kind. Especially with this war going on.'
With that, Petunia stormed out.
'I'm sorry. I- I'll, um, stay with a friends family or something...' I managed to croak.
'Certainly.' said Sarah Philipps, looking slightly taken aback at my sister's outburst.
I walked through the door, expecting to have to run and search to find Tuney, when she pulled me aside and into a broom cupboard.
'It's your fault. You realise that?' she hissed.
'Yes Petunia. I realise that all too well.' I hissed back, my temper was a lot shorter than normal, but things were anything but normal.
'You stupid cow. You had to be a freak didn't you? Had to go round cavorting with the wrong sort. Look what happened. I don't want anything to do with your kind Lily. I don't want anything to do with you.'
She may as well have slapped me in the face. Or punched me in the stomach because I felt winded. I was wrong. I did lose all my family that day.
Stood in front of the full length mirror. I was in a room in the leaky cauldron, of course the Ministry couldn't let me stay in my old house. It no longer felt like home. I felt like I was floating. Not in a good way.ike the floor was gone and I couldn't fall. I couldn't touch anything. I was detached from the rest of the world. My family, my stability was gone. And without that how could anything else exist? How could I exist
15. El Fanfico • Opuss № I