5 May 2012
Instinct: Chapter 1 (Part 4)
Leo
It was the start of my paranoia. I found myself enquiring more about her day, not because I was suddenly more interested in her wellbeing but because I wanted to catch her out. I felt as if I was getting obsessed with her and even rang work and told them I was sick just so I could follow her. I wanted to check she really did work at a bank like she said. Following her started to become more and more frequent and every detail of her life needed to be verified. I wanted to know what she had for lunch, who she interacted with throughout her day, everything she did when I was not with her. I was convinced there must be another man but had no idea who he possibly could be. I felt sick every time she came into contact with a male, watching for a sign that would prove he was the one.
That was the first weekend that I stopped sleeping at hers. Physically my body lay in position next to hers in the bed, under the same roof and my eyes were tightly shut. My mind was alive and my ears were alert, listening for every little sound. My strange behaviour had been going on for a month now. The first time I did it, I confirmed my suspicions, and she was definitely sneaking out at night. The noise was so slight I almost didnt realise she was gone. The second time, I was more aware when she left the room but I was too cautious to get up right away as I wanted to be sure she was gone before I ran to the window. My hesitation caused me to only just catch a glimpse of her disappearing round the corner, off to wherever it was she went. This time I was in hot pursuit, because this time I was ready for her!
She was quick on her feet, which made life very difficult for me. I watched her disappear around another corner and I wondered briefly if this journey would ever have an ending. I wished I had driven the car instead of attempting to keep up with her on foot. She moved so speedily it was almost difficult to keep up and the only thing keeping me going was the adrenaline of finding out what was going on. I could feel my heart beating with every turn. As I drew closer to her I grew increasingly concerned that I could get caught for following her and I didn't want a fight, not until I knew what this was about. It was imperative, I had to keep up!
Then I saw her dark hair shoot off down an alley way towards the park. I wondered if this was where she went to meet her secret lover. Bitterly I envisioned their secret liaisons and how exciting it must feel. A wave of anger washed over me as I realised he would kiss her and I clenched my fists so tight my nails dug into my palms. I had not before contemplated how I might feel when I saw her with him as I had been so busy trying to prove I was not crazy and had a genuine reason to be jealous. I had totally forgotten about what I was actually doing. I was planning to catch her in the act. I could feel my eyes burning with anger and hate as envisioned the bitch and her mate. For a moment I felt the prickle of tears in my sockets but I forced them back. This was not the time for self pity! I could not allow my enemy, whoever he may be, to see my weakness no matter how vulnerable I felt. I clenched my teeth and held my breath as I spied around the corner.
She was making her way across the park. I began making my way from tree to tree, slowly closing in on her but remaining cautious to keep cover. I felt like a psycho weirdo stalking his prey and was relieved that no-one was about in this early hour to witness me.
Then she stopped in front of the Parkside flats. It was a new block that had been built to home foreigners who had come to seek asylum. I tried to keep myself in the shadows out of sight. She began looking around...
"No doubt, hunting out her lover!" I thought as I pressed my back up against the tree so neither of them would see me, "What did he have that made him better than me?"
I wondered many things as I stood there. I deliberated over how guilty the other party was in this, surely he must be aware there is someone else in her life or perhaps he just doesn't care. Maybe he was just thankful for the time he got with her or was vulnerable prey to her charms... "It didn't matter what excuse, if he has touched her. I'll...." I hadn't actually decided what I would do with this new information but I was ready to find out the truth and then I would probably confront her about it. It saddened me as I realised that this was probably the end for us. Despite Kates bizarre attitude at times, I had thought she was the one and had grown to love her enigmatic mystery and found her fascinating. She always seemed lost in deep thought and when she did share her secrets they were full of lust and desire and I had been drawn in and my heart captured. Now it was the puzzle of secrets she presented that had become the sole reason I had lost all trust in her.
I dared to peek again to see if the mystery man had arrived yet. I carefully peeped around the thick trunk that was protecting me from sight. Then, I saw the most remarkable thing. Kate was scaling up the side of the wall like spider man. My mouth dropped in shock. I couldnt fathom what I was seeing. It was unreal. My mind flooded with a new source of questions which in a way was refreshing. The sadness of loss was replaced with intrigue.
"Was she super human? Why did she sneak out late at night? What other powers did she have? How did she get her powers?"
I tried to fill the gaps with theories from comic books that I read years ago as a teenager. The characters from those pages came to life and began to fill my mind. She was racing off across the roof top and out of site and I knew I couldnt follow her any further...
I began to head back to her flat on my own. I felt relieved and satisfied that she was not cheating on me. I felt stupid for ever doubting her. I wondered how I could tell her what I had found out and considered how she could be mad at me for spying on her. As I entered the house and sneaked back into bed a scary thought crossed my mind.
"What was she and was I even safe?"
Instinct - Chapter 1.4 (Leo) • Opuss № I