9 December 2012
'Twas the night before Christmas, 'nder a faint moonlight's glow. The pine tree was dressed with lights and fake snow. Not a critter dared stir, not the squeak of a mouse, When a sound was perceived that shook the whole house.
Out the chimney flew a man with a beard; Who children adore, and pastries all fear. He stepped in the room, gave his belly a scratch, For he wore a red coat, and a red hat to match.
He bore a gray sack with presents, no less; From little cloth dolls to colors, or chess. He walked to the tree and left a small wooden ship, Then he tiptoed away, for the house was asleep.
He turned to the table, and walked— well, leapt— And was about to grab a cookie when he stopped mid-step. He took a great sniff, and scrunched up his nose. He said: "What on earth could it be that smells so gross?"
So he followed his nose to where our stockings all hung, and exclaimed, "Holy crackers, it smells like cow dung!" Without another word he quickly pinched his nose, And suddenly like magic, up the chimney he rose!
And I heard him exclaim with a frown and a sneer,
"That's the worst damned thing I have smelled all year!"
A Day In The Life Of Santa • Opuss № I