27 August 2012
I am in the 'prototype' phase of writing a story- its going to be a fantasy, and I have never written one before: I have always been inspired by knights and dragons and I'm rambling a bit, but what I'm trying to say is I would really appreciate some feedback on this preface for the story. It's about a grandma telling fairy tales to her grand kids. Do you want to continue reading? Does it flow? Thanks for taking your time to read and if any of you are wattpad members I would love to read your work! :D anyway, let's begin...
***
‘Are you all sitting comfortably?’ Annabelle asked as she looked down at her grandson, Finn, and his best friend Evangeline.
‘Yes!’ They shouted back, and Annabelle chuckled at their eagerness.
‘Then I’ll begin…
‘Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful girl, who worked at a bakery with her family. Every day, she would take the loaves that weren’t sold in a basket, to give to the poor and the orphaned children. One day, when she was delivering loaves to them, she was almost knocked down by a magnificent horse drawn carriage. Luckily enough, she jumped out of the way, but the person inside the carriage was very concerned. As she gathered the bread that had flown from her basket, a voice came from behind her: ‘are you alright?’
‘The voice was soft and kind, and she turned to see its owner. To her surprise it was the prince of the realm. He helped her up, and kindly asked her if she would rather be taken to her destination by carriage. She thanked him, but explained she needed to make several stops, and she much preferred walking. But the prince was captivated by her beauty, and instead accompanied her. He watched in wonder as she handed out the bread to the poor people and children, and then proceeded to tell them stories. When the sun began to draw the day’s close, he walked her back to her home. But alas! She was nearly hit by another carriage, but the prince nobly pushed her out of the way, and she was saved! Once again he reached down to help her onto her feet.’
Evangeline couldn't help but notice Finn’s Grandma’s eyes twinkling, as she looked into space. But she didn’t stop telling the story.
‘ “Is this a habit of yours, nearly being trampled by carriages?” He chuckled.
“This is the first time anyone has ever tried to save me…” She smiled bashfully, feeling embarrassed under his gaze. As he looked into her eyes knew that he had fallen very much in love with her, and she him.” ‘
‘Did they fall in love and get married?’ Evangeline piped up.
‘Yeah, and did they live happily ever after?’
Annabelle thought of the two children in front of her. They probably didn’t want to hear the truth, the real story. They were far too young, and it was too soon to tell them that it isn’t always happily ever after.
‘Yes,’ She chuckled, ‘yes they did.’
Preface, Telling Tales • Opuss № I