rowebothatchling
Always give 100% at work 12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday
Blonde: what does IDK mean? Brunette: I Don't Know Blonde: OMG, no one knows!
The world can't end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Coca cola came to town Coca cola came to town Diet Pepsi shot him down Diet Pepsi shot him down Dr. Pepper fixed him up Dr. Pepper fixed him up Now we all drink 7up Now we all drink 7up. That's a rap type rhymey thing I…
There once was a cat called Jake, Who liked sitting on the garden rake. He purred and he meowed and be yowled and he howled, Yet, a wish I gave him to take. But Jake liked to read and write, So at the end of the day he'd recite All his lon…
This is a conversation between my gran and my dad (her son) Dad: my sister's just been rushed I hospital! Is it easier for you to stay here? Or do you want to stay with my sister (your daughter). Gran: wel... Do you get the French open ten…
My sister's just tried to push me out her room. I think she's forgotten that I'm sharing with her...
My sister's just made coconut ice. Except... It's more coconut sugar, as it's 5/6 sugar and 1/6 coconut. Yeah... I don't really trust my sister in the kitchen anymore.
Yessss! I'm in the top 300 now! (I know. HUGE achievement... That was sarcasm by the way.). I never thought I'd make it!
My sister is going to break her door if she slams it any harder. And I thought she was the sensible one.
Dad: so, all the houses for sale in Italy are all really great. Blonde: yessss!! Dad: ...except they're all something like 3 hours away from the nearest airport. Blonde: so...? Dad: well, it'll take ages to get there! Blonde: we'll just cat…
A brunette murders her neighbour, and a blonde walks in on her during the act. The brunette hands the blonde £200 and asks the blonde to not tell anyone. The next day, the brunette is arrested, but she doesn't know how because the only per…
"Eye have a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh…
People are unreasonable and self-centred, LOVE THEM ANYWAY If you do good people will accuse you of selfish moves, DO GOOD ANYWAY If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies, SUCCEED ANYWAY The good you do today may…
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl said that Jonah wa…
The group of letters of "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. This sentence has them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and h…
If a statue of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground,…
'Every time you luck a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie' Anon
If you chew gum whilst peeling an onion, you don't 'cry'. Well, that's what my friend told me.
Porcupines float in water. I just found that out. How awesome is that? I wanna be a porcupine now...
"Whoever said money can't buy happiness just didn't know where to shop." Anon.
Nobody's perfect. That's why I'm Nobody.
Teddy, I've been bad again, My mummy told me so; I'm not quite sure what I did wrong, But I thought that you might know. When I woke up this morning, I knew that she was mad; 'Coz she was crying awful hard, And yelling at my dad. I tried …