29 July 2012
Dear Diary,
Today, as always, we trailed to the centre of a volcano (to check for an update of successful missions completed by our co-villains, funnily enough, there were none) and I didn't think it could get any more boring than this. Then, Master decided that we should go and shrink the sun... again. This time all was going well, and for the first time we actually got to the second step of the blue prints; stealing the rocket. I always try to tell Master that we should try a different approach, but he insists on entering through the chimney. His childhood obsession with Santa Claus is obviously still causing mental issues. Anyway, I had taken my place on the top of the chimney, waiting to abseil down, when Master thought it would be quicker just to fall down, so down I fell, along with the rope. Long story short, this didn't end well. Vet food just doesn't agree with my stomach.
The Diary of a Villains Pet, Lightning the Pig • Opuss № I