22 October 2012
It was so hard not to say yes. I might always hate you for that. Everybody loved you, and you wanted me. But that wasn't fair, no not at all. Because if I said no, I would be the bad guy. Just like that, the underdog, who loved a girl for four years but was afraid to say so, wouldn't have the happy ending. I couldn't be that girl. You all gave me no choice: I had to pretend.
Well I did a pretty good job pretending, because for a while I even convinced myself that I liked you too. It was easier that way, pretending it was real. Nothing was real. Not for me and that's why I can't leave this mess I'm in. Because its only a mess for me. But is there any sympathy for the girl who tried? Who had to choice but to say yes? The girl who is trapped in what they think is so perfect? No of course not.
No matter how I do it, or what I say, if I leave they won't forgive me. No doubt. But will you? Please don't get me wrong, I care. I did from the start. I don't want to hurt you. But I still need out. This relationship is a vortex, and my head is being pulled in faster that my heart.
So please don't hate me when I say I can't go on with you. Please don't still love me, because I just won't be able to take it. I can't breathe. I guess this is goodbye. To you and our paper fantasy.
Paper Fantasy • Opuss № I