Life Part 5!

When I ran to the nurses desk I was in a bit of a state to say the least! Why on earth my beautiful daughter wasn't there was absolutely terrifying. My heart was threatening to beat its way through my chest it was thrumming that hard!
The nurse was no where to be seen, so I stood and stood there, glancing back and forth down the corridor until something caught my eye. The nurse was coming through the room behind the desk to the left carrying my daughter. Relief washed through me and I cried. "Miss are you ok?" The nurse asked, and my anger came from no where. "No I'm not alright, I went to my baby's room and she wasn't there, baring in mind you never remove her from the safety of that room, I thought something major had happened! Why the fuck is my daughter in your arms in a ward where she could pick up all sorts?" I regained composure after my outburst and added "I'm sorry for swearing and ranting but I was petrified that my girl was..." My words trailed off, I couldn't even bring myself to say the words I was thinking. "Don't worry everything's fine, we were removing the long line drip as she spiked a temperature and the line had become infected, we've given her some antibiotic shots and taken the long line out and if she copes well without it then we won't need to put it back in." Wow what a relief I thought something major was going on. "Would you like to feed your daughter her 1st bottle?" Oh my god I thought, her very 1st bottle. It's strange how your feelings can go full circle with a few minutes. Of course I fed her for the 1st time ever! And it was great, so great, amazingly awesome and a moment I will never ever forget. Even writing about it evokes the emotions I felt all them years ago.
Day 14 and I was cooking lunch before I headed to Leicester to the hospital and my phone rings. "Hello is that Niquitas mummy?" Shit what's wrong "yea speaking" I managed to say "hi it's the nurse from Leicester royal infirmary, I've got a question for you, would you like to take your daughter home?" That moment I think I must've sunk to the floor in pure shock, happiness, anxiousness and whole lot of other things. "Erm yea I would love to, but will she be okay? I mean she was suppose to be there for 4 weeks. This is only 2. But of course I'd love nothing more but are you sure?". "Yes we are sure we will talk more when you get here but your daughter is remarkable, you should be very proud" I definitely was, with that I turned the cooker off chucking my half cooked dinner in the bin, I didn't want to eat. I was going to get my daughter.
I walked in to the maze of corridors with car seat and changing bag with her special going home outfit. My grandma and grandad were with me, smiling just as wide as I was. When we entered Niquitas room the surgeon and nurse was there. "Hello mr Nour, I hear I can take my daughter home?" I asked. "Yes you can, your daughter is a very very strong girl. She may still be a bit sore at the site of her op but it has healed nicely. She's done remarkably well and ill see her back in your hospital in 2 weeks time. Congratulations she's beautiful" and with that he turned on his heels an left me with the nurse. "Would you mind if I get her dressed to go home? Ive grown very attached to this little stunner" the nurse asked. "Of course" was my reply. I had a baby pink jump suit in a velvety material for her, complete with a tiny little t-shirt and a matching cardigan with poppers and little tiny pink hat. She looked adorable. The apple of my eye already! The nurse asked me if she could take her to the ward to say goodbye to all the other nurses who had looked after her and after my permission set off in that direction!
5 minutes later Niquita had been strapped into her car seat, a little fleece blanket was tucking her in and I was ready to go. For me the proper beginning of motherhood. Where I was solely responsible for her well being. This was going to be awesome, testing, frustrating but most of all absolutely rewarding. I turned to the nurse and gave her a heartfelt thank you and a promise that I'd call her and let her know how she's doing at home.
Once we reached the car park I felt different, stronger, wiser, more scared and apprehensive, I suppose all the feelings new mums have. The old gentleman and his wife in the car next to us peered into the car seat and said "aww what a beautiful baby boy you have there". Now they must've been colour blind my girl was dressed all in pink, but I replied "thank you" and they went about their business. Still to this day I remember that and laugh! A fond memory the minute we step out of that hospital.
The hour and a quarter journey home seemed to take forever, but my baby slept the whole way home. Thank god! When I got her home I put her car seat on the floor and sat there looking at her fast asleep. "Now what" I said out loud. I didn't have to wait long to find out. She made a strange face, her face going red and then the smell hit me. Her 1st poo! Well at home anyway. I sat changing her bum and she wee'd all over the place. I couldn't help but laugh. It was everywhere. Another great memory to add to the list. And there where lots of them.
Her first smile, crawling, walking. Every single memory etched in my mind. The first few months were tough. She wouldn't sleep ever unless she was in your arms and I must've lived on an hour a day or less sometimes. It hurt her to lay flat so I had to sleep with her in a reclining chair against my chest. I never got much sleep and got very familiar with ceefax pages on bbc1.
She was in and out of hospital for severe gastric reflux, to the point she would projectile vomit after every bottle. And there was the constipation. Poor mite, she was that bad it was terrible to watch. She was on constant movicol for that as her bowels were immature and because of the operation they didn't always function properly. She was on powdered gaviscon for the reflux. She saw her surgeon once a month till she was two and then passed back to the paediatrician dr yong. I remember vividly the conversation I had with Dr Yong one day. Niquita had just turned one, and I was telling the doc that Niquita walked on her very 1st birthday much to my amazement, she was very small still for her age. The doc didn't believe me, so with that I took her out of her pushchair and she walked straight over to a kids book on the floor and picked it up! In your face doc my daughter is amazing!!
There are many stories I can tell you about the courage and strength my daughter has shown over the years but that would take me forever and a day! I never imagined that a human being that small would inspire me everyday of my life and by joe she does. Happy ever afters do happen just not how you expect them too. There's a lot more to this story which I will tell, when I realised something wasn't quite right. But for now my happy ever after is my daughter, my amazingly strong and fearless daughter, survived even though all the odds were against her. Everything else is just details.

Thanks for reading. Next instalment will be called complications. :)