Living to someday discover why!
I've got friends now. At least I can call them friends. Yet, I feel so alone all the time. I miss home, I miss my parents, grandparents, my brother, little Scotch and all of my friends.
The funny thing about life is, nothing's ever for sure. Even when you are sure of something, something might not be so sure of you. Certainty is lacking and we have control over nothing.
My best friend from high school was visiting me these three weeks. We have really been friends for a while. Two weeks I put up with her bossiness until I felt like a guest in my own home.
So things have been okay...I get along with my tutor group pretty okay and I'm just okay. My life is so monotonous. Grey. All I feel is grey. I still miss home, I still miss feeling loved and wanted.
There was change. I felt a little belonging today... It felt nice. Hope it sticks!.
At the end of the tunnel, I will see the light. My whole life's been inside a tunnel...I don't think there's light at all. Something's got to change tomorrow. Something just has to!.
I study that human beings are social creatures. We are taught how to behave and how not to behave all so that we can fit into society and look pretty.
How important is friendship. Azeen is a 1000 miles away. Stuck in Turkey somewhere and yet, I can't seem to go a day without telling her mine was...
Happy Mid-Autumn Festival Day!. Going to Ting and Kim's to celebrate a wonderful Chinese festival today... A well deserved break from all this reading I've been doing all day.
I realized today that being friends didn't have to mean being selfless towards one another but understanding that we couldn't always afford to.
Life takes turns into really weird places...roads leading to god knows where. I can't understand this journey no matter how hard I try.
Today was some kind of magical... It was so simple but I'm learning to smile again. I'm smiling at myself!.
So, Stephen didn't wave at me today which made me think I was in his list of crazy as well. Not good. I like him. He was among the sweetest...
Spoke twice, laughed once and cried not much. Mike's back on WatsApp with Az, so maybe a lot more laughing in the future. Missing home a little less today...
Finished my very first lecture and not bad... I'm alive. Nobody knows I exist though. Which is a pro not a con. I can do what I feel like and not care about looking bad. I'm invisible!. :D.
It was pouring outside all day and scotch is so very ill.
Finally done with my reading... Tutor group, as scary as you are, I hope I kick ass when we meet next. Goodnight .
Can't sleep thinking about tomorrow,. Cause I know all it'll bring is sorrow,. If I were to borrow,. One loving tomorrow,. I'd stop digging me a burrow,. And smile, leaving behind all the sorrow,.