13 April 2012
Everytime when i said 'no' to little sister when she asked for something, i am not sure whether am i being selfish or i am trying to teach her to just live with things that she has now or i dont want to spoil her or i really can't afford it..? Her ipod is still in good condition. Is just that the battery died off easily, but the rest.. Ok je. Everytime there is some error message, she will call me, and i will troubleshoot the problem while she plays with her blackberry. Time tu mmg rasa nak lempang dia. But i think, if i would act out everything that i "rasa", everyone around me would have already died getting lempang-ed by me. Instead.. Being a typical mother-figure to her, i had to scold her.. Well.. More like a nag.. "tgk tu, while i'm fixing this ipod, tgk la how i do it, ini tak, main blackberry msg msg msg, treeng treeng(imitating the bbm sound, which is really annoying the fact that i'm trying to figure out whats wrong with the ipod)".. And after i have managed to fix it, i gave the same lecture, "online-tau-troubleshoot-taktau-online-google-semua-buat-apa"?.. They are the Gen-Z.. They are born with CDs, and laptop and PC setiap rumah mission and vision. They are supposed to be "pc troubleshoot literate".. Dah tak larat nak bagi ceramah.. I made it short this time, with me going into my room, and texting my friend about how my sister's friend wants to organise a surprise bday party. And i am the one yg pening, who's gonna pay for the food, how many people, and i gave the friend suggestion hw to organise, because when i asked the friend about the details, dia taktau.. And semua pun "boleh la!".. Kid, u can't bring outside food to the restaurant..So i texted her, gave my suggestion, and still waiting for the reply.. Siapa yg organise ni sebenarnya? Come to think of it, how did i end up in this situation again? It sounded like i took in charge.. Well.. I had to give another suggestion, or else, i'm gonna pay for the whole event! Gile, 15 org nak datang. Sorang makan rm30. Times 15. App. Rm500.. There goes my surabaya budget..
But then deep down.. Comes a perasaan, "if only money is not a problem, i would just agree with the idea, and my little sister would be happy".. "if only mney is not a problem, i can buy little sis a new pc/laptop or even a new iPod, without me having to nag her, which every kid and everyone in this world hates it.."
I am in a mission to keep my credit below 1k.. And i just managed to do it this month.. And i am proud of it.. Alhamdulillah.... Tapi.. When these things come up.. I dont know whether i should be.. Kedekut.. Or just make people happy..And spend.. Because the moment when i see my little sis happy and laugh.. It's priceless... When i see her sad.. I tend to get angry at her, because i dont like to see her sad. Psycho kan i? But at the end of the day, she would let me know whats bothering her.. And i would hug her.. And tell her everything is going to be ok..
Giving • Opuss № I