28 April 2012
It was when thinking about a particular clock that I learnt the secret to life elongation.
The clock on Fish Street Hill in London, I noticed, is hanging from a building that's sinking into soft foundations.
The clock is years out of use, and so the two hands on this clock hang, only under the clockwork nature of gravity.
Originally they would hang together at six thirty and as time went on - at a laboured slower pace - the hands move forwards simultaneously in time.
Clever sciencey people quickly calculated that these steps in time would correlate prettily, with the movement of the building into the ground.
Surveyors were excited by this, as buildings generally did very little moving.
Hand in hand the clock would bow to the street.
When I passed the street, I thought instantly of a logic problem. I have the mind for these things you see.
Well, I wish I hadn't now really. I thought 'aha, with a healthy clock, I wonder how often these hands do meet, and how far apart do they do so?'
I know, I annoy myself sometimes too.
I quickly found out of course that, starting at noon, the second occurrence is at five past one.
-I was excited already-
Another hour and sevenish and it does it again; then again a little more than the previous, and again.
-I've only gone and added over five minutes to every hour-
These periods of time end up adding up to over 13 hours. That's 37 hour days!
I had a choice where to put this extra hours too, and popped it right in the butt crack of the morning where it should be.
Now I could wake up at six, stick two fingers up at the alarm clock with one eye open, and fall back to sleep for hours before eight o'clock arrived.
I'll be calling eight o'clock BOO o'clock hereafter, after its ridiculously early position in the day.
People at the office can see written in thick brush strokes the
-I've got around 50 percent more day than you-
look on my face. Which to those unfamiliar is a massive smile.
The extra time was feeding my sloth, but it was feeding on another part of me. I learnt this the hard way two weeks --a week of extra hours -- later.
-/to be continued (shortly)\-
The Arrogant Clock • Opuss № I