simonlongson

simonlongson

2012-04-13T10:14:27

~Bruce Willis~

Bruce willis was found dead next to a bottle of Viagra. Well I guess we can safely say he 'died hard'.

8 0 21 words

simonlongson

2012-04-13T08:17:34

~Parenting Fail~

I overheard a father yelling at his toddler who refused to sit still in the shopping cart “If you fall down and break your leg don’t come running to me.”.

34 11 30 words

simonlongson

2012-04-12T07:58:53

~Woss~

Jonathan Ross has been accused of stealing a kitchen utensil from tesco. Ross said its a whisk he was willing to take.

14 0 22 words

simonlongson

2012-04-11T21:03:58

~paws~

I remember being blown away when I noticed lemmings had a set of paws for their pause button..

8 0 18 words

simonlongson

2012-04-11T19:01:58

~Warmth~

The only thing good to come from farting too hard..

10 1 10 words

simonlongson

2012-04-11T18:51:27

~Google~

Remember when it was only god that knew everything?.

16 0 9 words

simonlongson

2012-04-11T09:41:46

~Rise Of The Idiots~

Once, the idiots were just the fools gawping in through the windows. Now they've entered the building. You can hear them everywhere. They use the word "cool". It is their favourite word.

18 8 122 words