13 November 2012
CHAPTER 1 Antoinette was seated on the edge of her king-sized bed, leaning on one of the four intricately carved bedposts. The large room was dimly illuminated by the decorative lights built into the hand carved marble fireplace. The soft glow cast dark shadows along the burgundy walls and white carpets like silent ghosts. The gloomy ambience reflected Antoinette’s dark mood, her anger and frustration was rising with each ticking second of the small clock on the nightstand. she gripped her phone so tight it could have snapped in two. It was an effort to resist hurling the damned thing across the room. “This isn’t what you said, Carrie. You…” “I didn’t expect this change in circumstances, Antoinette.” her boss replied. “But I can still do this. I know it’s going to be demanding, but I can.” “Jodie is right, that’s too risky for me, darling.” “The baby won’t affect my performance, I swear.” “I’m sorry but I’m giving the project to Jodie.” Carrie announced. That evil, conniving bitch! Antoinette swore silently. She had expected this conversation, but it still came as a shock to find out Carrie planned to give her project to Jodie. Jodie Robertson was one of Antoinette’s colleagues at Kramer & Co., one of the biggest architectural companies in the country. She was one of the senior architects at the company but Antoinette’s rapid rise within her short two and a half years there, had sparked a simmering rivalry between the two women. It would’ve been bad enough losing to anybody, but losing out to Jodie was simply unbearable to Antoinette. “Come on, Carrie, She’s been going on about my ‘condition’ as if I’ve caught a contagious disease or something. Once I have the baby, I’ll hire a full time nanny and everything will be back on track.” She promised almost frantically, but her boss wasn’t to be convinced. “This is really unfair and you know it…” she almost screamed, frustration overcoming self-restraint. “This is not about you or Jodie, I have to do what I think is best for everyone.” “I won’t disappoint you, Carrie.” She pleaded again. “I’m not doubting your ability, Antoinette, but this will be too taxing for you with a baby on the way. ” “I need this. It’s the only chance I have of getting promoted.” “I’m sorry, darling, I really am. You do understand my situation though?” “I’ve worked so hard to get this chance…” It was a desolate plea. She was fighting a losing battle and she knew it.. Carrie was a real sweetheart, but she was also practical when the occasion demanded it and the silence on her end confirmed what Antoinette already knew. She sighed in resignation, fighting back the overwhelming sense of anger and frustration. It was hard to breath, as if she was trapped underwater and couldn’t come up for air. The throbbing vein in her head was quickly turning into a headache and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. It was hopeless, nothing she could do. You have only yourself to blame! “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?” It was more a statement than a question. She felt deflated, all the fight drained from her. There was no point arguing any longer. “Don’t worry yourself Antou, you will have many more opportunities. All this stress isn’t good for the baby either.” Arghhh! here we go again! A string of angry obscenities ran through her mind but she managed to bite her tongue. Why is everyone so obsessed with a baby they haven’t even seen yet! Nobody seems to give a damn about me… or what it will do to my career. It’s always about the baby, “don’t do this, do that, don’t eat this, eat that.“ I’m sick of it! What about me! She looked at her own reflection in the mirrors on the adjacent dresser. At thirty years old, Antoinette was an embodiment of feminine beauty. With her large-set brown eyes, full sensual lips and smooth caramel skin, she commanded attention from both men and women at every turn. She pulled out the band that held back her long black hair. The high cheekbones and perfectly shaped oval face could easily have belonged on a fashion magazine cover. Even her figure was a masterpiece of creation, just above average height, medium build and legs the length of the Eiffel tower, she was almost perfect. The only flaw albeit temporary, and cause of her current woes, was the huge protruding belly, evidence of her eight months pregnancy. Just eight months ago, things had been very different. Antoinette’s brilliance as an architect was rewarded with fast promotions and bigger projects. Then one day her boss had walked into her office and offered her the biggest break of her career.
***
Carrie had walked into her office and sat on the desk, her short stockinged legs dangling on the edge. She was a pleasantly plump, baby faced brunette, dressed in her usual attire, black suit and knee length skirt. Antoinette wondered if her entire wardrobe was made up of the same thing. “We have a big project coming up” she announced. “Ollie did mention something like that yesterday.” Antoinette replied, not bothering to look up from her work. “Hearts are planning to build a new stadium.” “Oh… who’s Hearts, by the way?” “You’ve lived here for years, Antou, you still don’t know the city’s football team?” “Do I care about football? I just hear the names but I don’t know which is which.” Antoinette confessed. “Hearts is one of the two Edinburgh teams in the league.” “Oh, ok.” Antoinette said without much enthusiasm.
“Anyway,” Carrie continued, “the new owner, Mahmoud Al-Najjar wants to build a new stadium and we’ve got the design and planning contracts.” “That’s gonna be big.” “I know. The thing is, I’m thinking of letting you head the project.” Antoinette jumped out of her chair. Her blackberry went flying in the air but she was oblivious to it. This was a dream come true! All her hard work was about to pay off. The assistant manager’s position would be hers. She threw her arms around her boss. “Oh my God, Carrie, I won’t let you down, I prom…” “Mind you, nothing’s been finalised yet.” Carrie cut her off with a warning finger. “But let me tell you, the board is really anxious to impress on this one. This guy has large business holdings and that could mean a lot of business in future for the company.” What she said next was the icing on the cake for Antoinette. “Look, you are hardworking and honestly one of the best people I’ve worked with, if you handle this right, I will personally pitch your name to the board for Oliver’s position when he leaves.” She promised. “I don’t know what to say, Carrie.” “Don’t worry, I know that promotion means a lot to you.” Carrie winked. “I’m out of here, I have a date tonight and I badly need a pedicure.” She was already halfway out of the door. Antoinette calmly walked to the door and closed it, then she ran around the office, jumping and whooping like a rock star at the Glastonbury concert. A week later she had found out she was going to have a baby, one that just might jeopardise all her career plans and hard work. Losing the opportunity of my life… over a stupid pregnancy.
***
That was eight months ago. Sitting on her bed now, the phone still held to her ear, that same thought was running through her mind. You lost focus of your goals. Relentless commitment and hard work, that’s what got you here, how could you throw this away? She was roused from her self-admonishing reverie by Carrie’s voice. Her words were an annoying, monotonous drone in her ears now. She wished Carrie would stop chattering and hang up. It was a relief when she finally said, “I’ll see you Monday then, darling.” “See ya.” She mumbled back disinterestedly as her boss hung up. She sat staring at herself in the mirror for another few minutes, her mind a complete blank. The anger slowly dissipated, replaced by a sense of resignation now. She had no choice but to accept her fate. With a sigh, she looked at the platinum Chanel watch on her wrist, a birthday gift from her husband. It was almost half past six, time to start dinner preparations. She wasn’t in the cooking mood but a couple of Gabby’s friends usually came over to watch football on TV every Saturdays. Besides, Gabby’s best friend Andy, was coming too. He had just finished a tour of duty in Afghanistan, and was headed over. She looked forward to seeing Andy. He was almost like a brother to her, easy to talk to, and she confided in him about anything. They worried about Andy whenever there was news of British casualties in the war. Thank God he’s back from that horrible place in one piece. She rose from the bed with some effort. Thanks to the huge belly, getting up and sitting had become an ordeal. With one hand firmly under her massive belly she trudged towards the bedroom door, trying to ignore the ever-present ache in her back. It was just one of the endless nuisances of her pregnancy. This baby has been nothing but trouble so far, she thought.
Imran Darboe Big Dreams & Broken Hearts © 2011
BIG DREAMS & BROKEN HEARTS • Opuss № I