11 November 2012
11:11:2012
3:15p.m
The culprit : A middle aged woman (I use that term loosely) was arrested in Londons West End today.
After receiving calls from several members of the public I attended the scene, I was utterly shocked and disturbed when I arrived.
The suspect (who obviously doesn't own a mirror) was seen by myself and the general population wearing a pair of see through black leggings stretched (a size 14, squeezed into a size 8) to full capacity resembling as I can only describe as a pair of tights normally I would've let this go with just a warning.
But to be out in the daylight with only a waist length jacket really was obscene! The suspect wore only a g-string thus subjecting the public to her dimpled butt cheeks (cellulite city to say the least)
The woman was sentenced to a make over by Lady Gaga and banned from Forever21 indefinitely (why can't women grow old gracefully)
P.s there is nothing wrong with size 14! It's only when they squeeze into a size 8...
DCI Spanx • Opuss № I