29 July 2012
Dear diary,
Today Is finally the day where I steal it, and by it I mean I can't even write it down in case someone finds this which I'm sure they wont, I'm going to put it in my underpants and let's be real no ones gonna wanna take my underpants off (I wasnt blessed in the looks department) so I think we're safe but just to be sure, you know?
My mummy always told me I was a safe baby i didn't even cry a lot because I was scared I'd burst my eardrums, anyway I'm getting off the subject.
So after today I shall be a fully satisfied man, so I have to go and get ready now and no I dont have a cape, tights and eye mask this isn't a stoy...ok I don't have the eye mask or tights.
.........Okay I'm back and what a day it has been first off I will start with saying that I shall never wear a cape again.
Unless I find one that really will help me to fly. Those wings I brought down the market the other day aren't much good...as they're pink.
Anyhow so I got rid of security and made my way Inside when I was sure no one was looking I grabbed it and was on my way!
But it wasn't so simple, that irritating cape got stuck on a nail that was jutting out the side of a wooden crate so of course I was now running capeless (I felt way more unprofessional) nonetheless I continued running until I reached a dark, normally I stay clear of those dangerous places, but I had half the members of security after me it was a life or prison situation and I am not built for prison to much of the same colour:violet. I've heard there's a lot of violet in prison or did they say violence?
My hearing is absolute rubbish these days. Once someone said I smell of shit I thought they were saying you're well rich. That was a unpleasant time.
So back to my day, can I just say that running with a book in your pants is way harder then I thought it was going to be? that's something else I will not be doing again.
So in the allyway I climbed up the wall and did a quick victory dance and took a bite of the big juicy apple in my hands yelling I did it!
But then I was put in handcuffs from behind and lead away and I am currently writing this in my prison cell, where I must remain until tomorrow but I have to go now this diary is apparently being confiscated and by that they mean read, and I think it's because they're bored not because they have too.
It was worth it though, the apples on that stall are amazing but I got to g-
The Diary Of A Caped Villain. • Opuss № I