HIM

When we first met i knew "this is HIM"
Id been searching for awhile thinking id found HIM
But all the while I was blinded by my desperation
Now i see they are no match for HIM they never were
He left he came
he laughed he cried and then near the end my tears he'd dry
He said he wanted to be with me
I had never believed
all though i knew he was HIM that he'd tell me quite yet
Out of pure joy i told HIM it back and we sat and discovered
But then we were afraid as this was the first time for me
I told HIM the next day that i only wanted HIM because he wanted me
He said he felt the same way
that he wasn't hurt but then the next day he showed me that in reality he needed me
My secrets he told his mouth held no bounds
I asked HIM why and all said was
"because you didn't need me"
My mouth was silent for many days
I couldn't will myself to speak any words to the one who was HIM but had yet betrayed me
His number glared on my phone but after what he did i wouldn't call
I was lonely one day and out of pure craziness i called
A voice i didn't know
answered so i hung up
Right away, where had he gone
I still wanted HIM
I realized then that i needed HIM
But i don't think he needed me any longer
The whole summer he was out of my sights did not let the world know he was here as if he had disappeared
I always thought he would come back for me, now that im ready for HIM
But he fell for her and wasn't the same
I felt like a third wheel
He was different wasn't the guy i knew
Wasn't HIM anymore
at all
For a long while i suffered
I tried to pretend it wasn't important
That i didn't care and i tried to get over HIM
I thought of how he betrayed me so many months ago and i tried to convince myself he wasn't HIM
Even though it was, i did
And he was
I rode in the backseat not knowing which road he'd take me
I never saw HIM anymore
But when i suspected id be seeing HIM i dressed accordingly
When he said "you look different, you're finally growing up"
What did that mean
Had seen me as but a child before
Is that why
But now i was almost a teenager
Now i was ready for him and something told me he was ready for me
Now the girl he loved five times
She proved interest in another
And now they are no more
This news came to me but today and i feel as though all the suns rays are on me
Now i have another chance
Now i can see HIM as HIM again
I will open up my heart
To HIM
Maybe he will do the same
If he does i wont be scared this time around
This time im ready
I know now the pain caused by not
Saying yes to HIM
I wont hold back
Not ever again
Because he will come for me again
I just know it
And this time i wont deny
His right to need me
I wont deny HIM

PS THIS IS A TRUE STORY THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME