8 April 2012
HELP! I'M AN IDIOT Revealed: Britain's stupidest call centre customers By Jeremy Armstrong A HILARIOUS collection of the stupidest customers to ring Britain's call centres. Many callers were recorded as they went through some of the silliest inquiries ever received by exasperated operators.
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?" Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?" Customer: "It was on the door to the travel centre". Operator: "They're our opening hours".
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?" Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?" Operator: " Doesn't the name of the product give you a clue?"
Caller: "I''d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B fell off".
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That''s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I''m steaming up the window to write the number on"."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". Customer: "OK" . Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No" . Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No" . Tech Support: "OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer:"Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
HELP! I'M AN IDIOT • Opuss № I