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steely2302

Just a nice guy living in the beautiful city of Edinburgh.

26
Stories
15
Followers

Stories by @steely2302 (26)

steely2302
steely2302

Sperm Jar

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

34 4 188 words
steely2302
steely2302

Wrong Approach

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.

22 0 149 words
steely2302
steely2302

Husband Ashes

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...

16 1 111 words
steely2302
steely2302

3 Mice In A Bar

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

32 0 208 words
steely2302
steely2302

New Teacher

Is a dove a doo Dad Is a doo a dove Is a cow a coo Dad A sparrow jist a spyug And is a wall a waw Dad Is a dog a dug She's gonny warm ma ear Dad Instead o' skelp ma lug.

2 0 275 words
steely2302
steely2302

At The Vets

Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down.

18 1 224 words
steely2302
steely2302

Blonde Somerset Girl

A Mexican, an Arab, and a hot gorgeous blonde Somerset girl are in the same bar...

4 0 177 words
steely2302
steely2302

Who's The Father

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you.

22 5 185 words
steely2302
steely2302

Camping Trip

An illiterate father and his educated son went on a camping trip, they set up their rent and fell asleep.

2 0 84 words
steely2302
steely2302

Chinese Grandfather

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost.

22 3 494 words
steely2302
steely2302

Italian Bride

Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous.

18 0 218 words
steely2302
steely2302

Lay Offs

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.

8 0 141 words
steely2302
steely2302

Nudist Colony

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection.

18 0 286 words
steely2302
steely2302

Older Man

An older man had met a younger woman, but unfortunately he was unable to last very long before he would orgasm during sex.

12 0 240 words
steely2302
steely2302

Escaped Convict

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison.

22 1 250 words
steely2302
steely2302

Trip To Mars

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

10 0 296 words
steely2302
steely2302

A Boy And His Date

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

12 0 106 words
steely2302
steely2302

A Romantic Walk

A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak.

14 1 169 words
steely2302
steely2302

Nearly Married

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many, many years.

16 0 367 words
steely2302
steely2302

Harley Davidson

A bloke wins the lottery and decides to buy himself a Harley Davidson, he goes down to his local bike shop and after purchasing a top of the range bike, the owner of the shop tells him to coat the...

14 0 232 words
steely2302
steely2302

Confession

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest.

10 0 197 words
steely2302
steely2302

Maternity Ward

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.K.

12 0 315 words
steely2302
steely2302

New Hat

An elderly lady on a cruise ship was holding her hat tight so that it would not be blown away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam....

20 0 104 words
steely2302
steely2302

Bull Frog

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

16 0 207 words
steely2302
steely2302

At The Pool

Just got caught peeing in the swimming pool...... Bloody lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I almost fell in!.

8 1 19 words
steely2302
steely2302

Fannie Reid

In the Aberdeenshire countryside a man enters the local Catholic Church and at confessional says to the Priest, "Faither, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned wi Fannie...

30 4 256 words