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steely2302

Just a nice guy living in the beautiful city of Edinburgh.

26
Stories
15
Followers

Stories by @steely2302 (26)

steely2302
steely2302
2012-08-30T05:41:04

Sperm Jar

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

34 4 188 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-28T02:23:59

Wrong Approach

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.

22 0 149 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-28T02:17:34

Husband Ashes

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...

16 1 111 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-28T02:10:12

3 Mice In A Bar

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

32 0 208 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-26T16:07:51

New Teacher

Is a dove a doo Dad Is a doo a dove Is a cow a coo Dad A sparrow jist a spyug And is a wall a waw Dad Is a dog a dug She's gonny warm ma ear Dad Instead o' skelp ma lug.

2 0 275 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-25T01:29:08

At The Vets

Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down.

18 1 224 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-19T17:35:33

Blonde Somerset Girl

A Mexican, an Arab, and a hot gorgeous blonde Somerset girl are in the same bar...

4 0 177 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-15T16:54:39

Who's The Father

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you.

22 5 185 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-05T00:26:35

Camping Trip

An illiterate father and his educated son went on a camping trip, they set up their rent and fell asleep.

2 0 84 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T21:01:21

Chinese Grandfather

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost.

22 3 494 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T20:39:45

Italian Bride

Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous.

18 0 218 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T17:35:11

Lay Offs

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.

8 0 141 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T17:24:16

Nudist Colony

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection.

18 0 286 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T17:09:50

Older Man

An older man had met a younger woman, but unfortunately he was unable to last very long before he would orgasm during sex.

12 0 240 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T03:51:43

Escaped Convict

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison.

22 1 250 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T03:50:09

Trip To Mars

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

10 0 296 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T03:41:38

A Boy And His Date

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

12 0 106 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T03:34:29

A Romantic Walk

A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak.

14 1 169 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T03:28:59

Nearly Married

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many, many years.

16 0 367 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T02:28:01

Harley Davidson

A bloke wins the lottery and decides to buy himself a Harley Davidson, he goes down to his local bike shop and after purchasing a top of the range bike, the owner of the shop tells him to coat the...

14 0 232 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T02:24:44

Confession

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest.

10 0 197 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-04T02:12:54

Maternity Ward

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.K.

12 0 315 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-03T13:38:40

New Hat

An elderly lady on a cruise ship was holding her hat tight so that it would not be blown away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam....

20 0 104 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-05-03T00:50:38

Bull Frog

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

16 0 207 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-04-30T18:21:06

At The Pool

Just got caught peeing in the swimming pool...... Bloody lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I almost fell in!.

8 1 19 words
steely2302
steely2302
2012-04-30T18:14:51

Fannie Reid

In the Aberdeenshire countryside a man enters the local Catholic Church and at confessional says to the Priest, "Faither, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned wi Fannie...

30 4 256 words