11 September 2012
Sick For one week The questions return Not at all meek
'What happened?' 'Will she be gone longer?' 'Why now?' 'Did depression return full throttle?'
'Will she cry?' 'Or will she hide?' 'Will she leave again?' 'Or will she fight?'
'Is she gone Officially from me?' 'Is she trying To combat this sickness?'
'Why her?' 'Will she ever heal?' 'Will it be as bad As all the other times?'
'Is she safe?' 'Are we safe?' 'Is she aware Of the memories I hold?'
Memories, Of helping her Through her chronic depression Or at least tryig
"I just want Mommy To be all better." She was never there Yet, I still prayed
Back when Nothing mattered Except for school and the fact that 'Mommy' wouldn't be there
Coming home To snoring or tears Every day For 3 or 4 months
'Why didn't you See it sooner?' 'Or expect that It'd scar you for life?'
'Why couldn't she fight For herself, Instead of us trying For her?'
I wanted so bad For 'Mommy' to be well I put all on hold Wished for no more pain
I prayed and prayed Though I had no reason or belief We thought she got better But time revealed different
'She'll never be the same.' 'You will live with this For all of her life And all of yours.'
The realization First hit me At mere age 7 A couple months after we moved
Every day since 'She won't be there. She never has been. You know that.'
Every day since Tears are not hidden Never to be forgotten Always sacred
Every day since Has proved to me I can't live Without pain
I don't know The why's Or how's Or even the when and where's
But I do know Even though She wasn't there Or I felt, she never cared
I still have somewhere I can call home Writing beautiful words Amongst all of you
Amongst All Of You • Opuss № I