14 July 2012
To my mother
Are you the one that hurt me? Or was it you that left me Alone suffering This invisible pain
Its not known by the rest of the world but i know that you should notice it easily
I've hidden it so long The tears, the scars, every peice of pain mostly caused by you
But I blame my self because I was so... Niave not knowing where I was or even what to do
so I just cried alone at night wishing that somehow: it could be fixed
A smile was my signature although pain was my daily life everywhere i went
You trusted the mask That almost became me if only the pain hadn't been shoved into light
I might've been A happier version of me but you betrayed the mask i wish i was
My mask is now my true self I have only 2 thiings I wish to tell you
I hate you for revealing the true me to everyone else and myself
for causing even more Pain to wreak havoc on my world and everyone else's
for never noticing me and causing me to feel invisible then feel like i don't belong
for making me have reason to never trust anyone again and always question who i truly am
But i also thank you I no longer have to question myself or hide from the world
I can rediscover who I am where i truly belong if i belong at all
I learned that I can't trust you Or anyone for that matter And I never will
I don't have to be who you wanted me to be what the world made me to be what i willed myself to be
You will always be An enemy to me But also a dear friend for dropping the truth bomb
too bad you're still who you supposedly are because i know your lies i know you and your mask
But the rest of the world doesn't If only you could tell the difference between truth and lies
You may have helped me Find myself by ignoring me But I can't help you I won't even try
I was always there for you Always cared for you But shouldn't it be switched?
You've done a horrible job Of noticing me Of knowing the true me Of understanding me
But you've done great At making yourself a twin of the old me and at being a hypocrite
And making me one as well And never growing up And never pushing me And forcing me to learn on my own
Thanks for shattering My mask and cracking my dreams too bad that
You never would have been there for me anyways
Although I do know one thing that will always remind me of you the true you that no one see's
Your a bitch but also my mother never loved you in the first place unlike everyone else
I saw through your facade My sisters and I will stand strongly and unite against you
So despite the pain and all the tears I have left you with one scar and myself with none.
Opuss № I