16 March 2012
Intro
I was with my girlfreind on a nice picnic date in the park, Blue Capped Chickadees calling out to mates, People playing frisbee with golden retreivers, Monarch butterflies flying around.We ate hot dogs and fruit such as watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew so on and so forth. Then, as she bit into an apple, I started a conversation. I asked, "So, how many boyfreinds have you had?" "Um… i'd say eight to twelve." she replied, "How about you?" "Eheh umm… three girlfreinds?" " Haha, thats not that bad!" She closed her eyes and began to lean in then: CRACK! I woke up with a jolt. "You never fail to dissapoint me, Mr. Russell," said my social studies teacher Mrs. Smith. "Look," I said,"I can explain!" Then the bell rang and i took off. As i ran out the door i shouted "But not right now!"
Chapter 1
Today was my big date with my new girlfreind! She told me to meet her in the park at 4:30, which is about an hour after school. I hopped on my bike and pedaled the twelve blocks home on seventh gear. As soon as I got home I threw my bike on the ground and sprinted inside my families two-story, beige Victorian, down to my room in the basement to grab my lucky undies. I ran two stories upstairs to the only bathroom with a shower and hopped in. Half an hour later I hopped out, put my lucky undies on and ran down back to my room to put on something nice, and to get my cellphone. While I was in my room I glanced at the clock, and, seeing it was 4:13 decided to hurry up! I emptied my backpack, grabbed some food, and threw it in."Your phone is ringing… it is ringing… your phone is." I picked up my phone to see who it was. The number on the caller ID was 1 (555) 808-3204, a number I had never seen before. Curious to see who it was, I answered, and soon regretted the desision, it was some telemarketer horoscoper, saying something would happen to somebody I cared about today. I immidiatley dismissed the idea and continued on my way out the door, only to be inturrupted by my phone again! This time it was my girlfreind calling, so I immidiatley answered. "Hello, Beautiful! Wassup?" I answered. "Hello handsome, I just wanted to see if you were gonna make it on time?" she replied. I told her I had everything under control and that I would be there in a few minutes."Allright, just checking, but I have a surprise for you when you get here!" With my newfound motivation to get there earlier, I took off on my bike at top speed. I got to the park at 4:28 and saw my girlfreind waiting for me under the weeping willow tree, with it's long hanging branches giving great shade. I walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead as I sat down next to her. I told her I brought plenty of food for both of us and probably more. She insisted on showing me the surprise before we ate, because it would build up my appetite. u wanted to wait but she pulled out a pack of Skyn and told me to guess how the date was going to end. " Woah, I think you're rushing ahead a little bit, I mean, we're still in high school, we can't do that yet!" " That's what I bought these for, duh!" she whispered lustfully in my ear. " I mean with or without those, I don't think we're quite ready for that yet." I argued. " There's two theories to arguing with women, and neither one works. you said that yourself! Now let's skip the food for now and go to the library! Actualy, no, let's go to your place!" I eventually gave in, after all, it was a win-win situation right? Wrong, and we learned that the hard way. Just as she was starting to take off her g-string, there was a slamming door as my mom yelled down the stairs " I home! Come here, I bought McDonalds on the way home! "Fuck, my moms home now what?" I asked her. " Go up there and say hi, then come back down and well continue what we're doing!" she replied seductively. At the worst possible moment, my mom started coming down the steps, just in time to see me start taking off the condom. She screamed and fainted and fell down the steps, collapsing into a heap at the bottom. My girlfreind and I (Still half naked) ran over to help. "She's not breathing!"My girlfreind said, a worried look in her eyes. "We just gotta get dressed before she wakes up" I said in response. "Tanner, she doesn't have a pulse, I think she's having a heart attack !" I pulled out my cellphone and dialed 911. "911 what's your emergency?" the operator asked. "My mom is having a heart attack! come quick, the address is 524 Logan boulevard!" " an ambulance will be there as soon as possible, thank you for calling." the operator stated in their machine-like tone.
my 17+ story • Opuss № I