1 March 2013
I'm beginning to feel things I thought if never feel again. When I'm with her, everything seems to have its color again. Her laughter is contagious. The smile she gives me brightens the room. She's caring and compassionate. And she's alone. Her parents left her when she was young and up until recently, she lived with her grandfather. She'd walk to school, alone. She'd leave campus, alone. She'd eat, alone. She'd study, alone. She'd go out, alone. She'd go home to an empty apartment. I wanted nothing more than to take away that loneliness. The only thing holding me back was the fear that she wanted someone else to do that. What if she only saw me as a friend? The question haunted me and it was the only shackle attached to my fear. I shook the thought out of my head and focused on the planetarium's wide array of stars. The Big Dipper. Orion's Belt. I got bored quickly. I wasn't one for astronomy but she loved it so much. I wonder if she love me...
The lights come up and I'm out of my seat. I want to make her smile today. She doesn't smile much. To even see that glittering smile once a day is a goal I keep. The park. A cafe. A garden. The boardwalk. A street fair. The mall. I take her everywhere in the meager hours I have with her. The fountain in the square. We laugh. That smile seems to be a permanent fixture and it makes my stomach warm. I've run out of things to say. Except the things I want to tell her. Shit. Think fast idiot. Uh..uh..um..
"Hey, I'm sorry. I have to get going." Her face falls as I realize what I say. Shit. Wrong thing to say! Stupid, stupid, stupid. She fakes a smile and it's obvious her feelings are hurt. I've left her alone this time. Damn I hate myself. We hug and I turn to leave. I hope I can fix things tomorrow. I'll tell her then. Then...
"Wait!"
She Won't Be Alone Again • Opuss № I