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theWriter

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Stories by @theWriter (70)

theWriter
theWriter
2013-02-03T13:33:44

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????????????????????????. So this is what 'writer's block looks like'.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-08-22T23:33:20

Think About It

If it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be?.

6 1 19 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-08-22T23:27:10

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Why is "Abbreviation" such a long word?.

12 0 7 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-08-22T23:19:25

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Never confuse your career with your life..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-08-22T23:18:26

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Always speak well of your enemies - after all, you made them..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-08-22T23:17:09

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The bigger they are the harder they hit!.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-30T21:42:25

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things..

14 1 11 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-30T21:41

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Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!.

6 0 11 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-30T13:02:34

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If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation..

10 0 23 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-23T11:54:49

Think About It

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong!.

14 0 23 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-23T11:51:07

Think About It

One good turn usually gets most of the blanket..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-23T11:48:45

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Most of us know a good thing as soon as someone else sees it..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-23T11:40:15

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What's ET short for. Because he has little legs..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-18T21:50:20

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What's the difference between the Government and the Mafia. One of them is organised..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-18T21:47:45

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No matter who you vote for the Government always seems to get in..

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-07-06T17:53:43

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Artificial Inteligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!!!.

14 0 8 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-06-14T11:07:30

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Is French-kissing in France just called kissing?.

6 0 7 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-06-14T11:06

Think About It

Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-06-12T19:48:50

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Why is it called Alcholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'my name is Bob, and I'm an alcoholic?.

2 0 25 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-06-12T19:45

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Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-06-01T12:50

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When Eskimos sit on the ice for too long, do they end-up getting Polaroids?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-30T11:23:03

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Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?.

4 1 4 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-30T11:09

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If I save time, when do I get it back?.

4 0 10 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-28T12:50:08

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What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?.

8 2 14 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-28T12:48:45

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What do people in China call their good plates?.

4 0 9 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-28T12:47:50

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We know the speed of light, but what's the speed of dark?.

2 0 12 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-28T12:46:24

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If you try to fail but succeed, which have you done?.

4 0 11 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-22T13:16:53

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Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk in the garage?.

4 1 19 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-22T13:14:02

Think About It

If someone with a multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation??.

2 0 17 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-22T13:11:30

Think About It

How come wrong numbers are never busy?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-22T13:10:22

Think About It

How can you identify a person using their dental records. If you don't know who they are, you certainly won't know who their dentist is!.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-22T13:07:40

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-22T12:11:35

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-12T11:14:59

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If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the Earth?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-12T11:12:37

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How do 'keep off the grass' signs get where they are?.

6 0 11 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-10T15:20:14

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How comes Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?.

8 1 19 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-10T15:16:52

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I've just finished my latest invention, a device for looking through walls. It's called a window..

2 0 16 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-10T15:14:56

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I've invented a new gadget for speeding up work on production lines - its called a whip!.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-04T09:57:09

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Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-04T09:54:39

Think About It

If corn oil is made of corn, and vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what's baby oil made from?.

6 0 19 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-04T09:52:54

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If Polish people are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?.

6 0 13 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-04T09:43:27

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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-03T11:23:01

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If someone with a multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?.

4 0 17 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-03T11:21:09

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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-03T11:19:15

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Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?.

4 0 9 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-05-02T10:45:50

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They say there is a lot in a name, but tell me was Cilla Black, was Barry White, was Marvin Gaye?.

4 1 21 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-30T11:10:25

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Why do people without watches always look at their wrist when anyone asks them the time?.

4 0 16 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-30T11:02:31

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Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a sell-by date?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-28T23:12:57

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Can a half-wit work part-time for NASA.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-28T19:16:32

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Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-26T21:37:52

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If we're here to help others, then what are the others here for?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-26T21:36:21

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Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one dies..

4 0 12 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-26T20:31:54

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Why do toasters have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-25T20:07:53

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If we're here to help others, then what are the others here for?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-24T20:23:58

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?.

10 1 7 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-24T20:22:55

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How come a pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-23T13:41:51

Think About It

Can a half-wit work part-time for NASA?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-23T09:51:01

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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?.

10 2 28 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-23T09:41:06

Think About It

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?.

2 1 10 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-22T15:36:34

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Why can't a woman put on mascara with her mouth closed?.

2 0 11 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-22T10:13:45

Think About It

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?.

6 0 14 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-22T10:08:48

Think About It

Why are wrong numbers never busy?.

0 0 6 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-21T10:52:27

Think About It

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?.

2 0 25 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T12:30:43

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Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T11:35:22

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Why is there only one monopolies commission?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T11:35:22

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Why is there only one monopolies commission?.

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theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T11:28:23

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If a man stands in the middle of a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?.

16 2 22 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T11:26:27

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Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?.

12 2 10 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T11:25:27

Think About It

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?.

2 0 10 words
theWriter
theWriter
2012-04-20T11:23:23

Think About It

Can a half-wit work part-time for NASA?.

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