4 November 2012
A long month had passed since his chance encounter with Kathryn. He had struggled to deal with his feelings and he'd been quiet and withdrawn. Things weren't going well at home. He realised that they hadn't been going well for a while but maybe now that Kathryn was in his head it was less tolerable. When he actually thought about it he could see that things had steadily been getting worse for the last couple of years. When they had first got married they had been incredibly close and then they'd tried for a baby but nothing happened so they kept trying and it became the focus of their lives. It was a difficult time for both of them but finally success, she was pregnant. After two months she miscarried and worse still, he was working away when it happened. He was devastated but she was worse. He thought they had got over it but looking back now he could see that the cracks had started to form then. She was bitter and had blamed him because he hadn't been there. He thought it was just the anger and the grief talking but now he knew that she still blamed him. They had decided that they weren't emotionally strong enough to go through it all again and he had come to terms with not having kids. But life wasn't the same as before. He was a fool to have believed they could go through such a terrible time and then carry on as if nothing had happened. He had been living in a kind of numb bubble. He felt he had to be loyal to his wife because of all they'd been through. He loved her but it had become more like the love between a brother and a sister. The physical side of their marriage had all but disappeared but they still looked like the perfect couple to outsiders.
He sighed, despite all this he couldn't ever leave her. She needed him and he owed it to her. He could never be unfaithful to her. She was a sweet woman and the thought of betraying her was beyond him. So when he picked up his phone and dialled Kathryn's number he felt secure that he wouldn't let anything come of this. He just needed to hear her voice again.
Worlds Apart PtX • Opuss № I