10 February 2013
OK, before anyone reads this I'd just like to say that I think a sense of humour is the most important thing in the world and I'm sure you ALL agree, yeah? I got the idea for this from a joke I heard years ago (and I didn't find it at all funny, OK?) Now I want you all (well, about 50% of you) to remember that, right?
The Change
I must admit that in my past Sometimes I've been a prig And even on occasions A male chauvinistic pig. But that was in the bad old days A past I try to hide I've changed so much Now I'm in touch With my feminine side. I can't deny my feelings I'm forced to face the truth I've given up the pub For a special "club" Where the "boys" all call me Ruth And I'd been saving all the pennies Sold my clothes to the second-hand shop 'Til I finally scraped together Enough for a sex-change op. So I hurried to the clinic With my handbag on my arm Feeling quite excited But with a sort of inner calm. Day 1 was getting settled, Filling forms and having tests. Day 2 I faced the scalpel Ending up with brand new breasts! Day 3 I asked the surgeon " So tell me - what's next doc?" He said " Let me see, at half past 3 I'm gonna split your cock! No need to look so worried You'll only feel a little twinge, I'll turn it inside out and without a doubt You'll have a perfect little minge!" I woke up in the morning Feeling sore but quite content Admiring my new body Thinking "Yeah, money well spent." Then I saw the doc and asked him "Can I go now? Are you through?" He answered "No, can't let you go, There's 2 more things to do."
What happened next was a nightmare! God, I've never felt such pain As the surgeon's knife widened my mouth And took away half my brain!
My Feminine Side • Opuss № I