9 December 2012
Warning! Bad language !
A Day in the Life of...... Rudolph .
Yep, that's me. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer - the most famous reindeer in the world. And do you know why I've got a red nose? Because I've had a fucking cold for the last 73 fucking years, that's why! Stuck in a field up here in Greenland for 11 months of the year, wallowing in my own shit and freezing my bollocks off, not to mention being bored to fuck! No, no, actually that's not entirely true. For the last 10 years it's been because of the booze - ever since I nicked that bottle of Jack Daniel's that was meant for Glen. Ha ha, cockney wanker! Anyway, where was I? Oh , yeah. What's the title of this? A Day in the Life!... Well, which fucking day would you like? 8th June? Boring! 19th August? Boring! In fact 364 days of the year - EVERY year - fucking boring! The only day I actually do anything is Christmas Eve, when that prat Santa Claus comes and asks " Rudolph with your nose so bright will you pull my sleigh tonight? " Well, this year I'm gonna tell him! " No! Fuck off you fat prick! I've had enough! " I'm gonna grab a bottle of JD, find Vixen ( or Dancer, I don't give a toss really ) and shag the ass off her - I've always fancied the bitch. Mmm.. maybe a threesome ? Anyway, Merry Christmas and peace to all mankind. ( now where is that box of rubbers?....)
Rude-olph • Opuss № I