6 April 2012
I seem to have this habit of saying stuff without thinking it through.
The other day I emailed something really rude to someone. I was angry at something they'd said to me, but I shouldn't have been rude in reply.
Whenever I do it, I feel so guilty afterwards. The words bore into my mind like a worm eating an apple.
Apologising doesn't even alleviate it. It all plays on my mind, round and round, a cruel carousel of my nastiness.
I don't think I'm a bad person - I don't think nasty things about people - I just say the wrong things.
I feel cursed.
Opuss № I