Falling

I've been thinking about love a lot recently.
This is my closest experience of being in love.
So strange.
I can't tell when I will know for definite that I am, so I can confidently say 'I love you'..
I have moments where it hits me and I realise how strong my feelings are.
Much stronger than I let on...But I'm sure everyone can see through that.
Can you?
Like the times I cry and you sit there patiently listening with something wise to say.
Always know how to make me feel better about anything that troubles me... and you've only known me for two months?
How is it that you're better at cheering me up than people who have known me for so many years?
Even though I kept on saying I was embarrassed because I had cried in front of you... I hate crying in front of people.
The truth is I didn't feel weird or self conscious. I was totally comfortable pouring my heart out and letting you in.
Which ultimately lead to me freaking out because I'm so comfortable with you so easily.
And I have always been like that since we started talking.
I don't know why.
At first I thought it was just me being an idiot and telling you personal things because I was nervous or something.
Even though I knew I wasn't feeling any nerves.
But now I'm thinking maybe there is something about you that just makes me want to tell you things.

You're there to support me and listen to all the little, insignificant things I say and respond so perfectly.
Usually I advise people, so it feels weird to be advised by someone who actually gives better advice than me.
I'm always awestruck, I never imagined that someone could say things to me that are so caring and sincere without making me cringe or being cheesy.
It's moments like that where I feel like I can say 'I love you' because I feel it strongest then.
No other guy has ever had that effect on me.
But I don't want to get carried away in the moment, and end up saying it, realising afterwards that I didn't quite mean it yet... Because you deserve better than that.
I wish I could distinguish between all the emotions that flood through me when we are together..
You're so good for me.
I keep waiting for the catch, the flipside of the coin, something that will show that you might end up hurting me or that you're using me.
But I'm scared that if I wait for it, it will inevitably come... So it's best not to look for the negatives.
But if I shut my eyes, isn't that the same as being "blinded by love"?
I just feel like and I'm falling deeper and deeper into the unknown, spiralling downwards uncontrollably.
I don't know if I'm going to land safely or crash into the ground...